


Dealing With It

by Higgies230



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dad!Steve, Dad!Tony, F/M, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Poor Peter, Superfamily (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14739066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgies230/pseuds/Higgies230
Summary: The Sokovia Accords had just messed everything up. Steve had left and it had broken Tony. Peter had been there for it all, his dad had tried to hide how much he was hurting but Peter was old enough, fifteen years, he wasn't stupid and he didn't miss anything. He had to sit there and watch as his dad broke apart slowly but surely.That morning he woke as he always did, yanked for a nightmare suddenly, panting and shaking, sitting straight up in bed. There was no noise from the rest of the house and why should their be, today marked one month, two weeks and three days since the last time that anyone else had been home.





	1. Life as it is

    His dad had only found out about Spider-man a couple of weeks before the Accords had ruined everything. Peter had just crawled in though his bedroom after patrol and there was Tony sat on his bed. The teen had been mortified to say the least and his dad had sure been surprised to see the homemade suit on his son. He had been proud though, that was clear in his expression, proud and worried. Both of them knew that Steve would be more worried than proud and that was why it was actually Tony that suggested that they keep the secret from him on the condition that Peter wore a suit of Tony's design. It was a win win for Peter but it meant that Steve had no idea that he was fighting his son in Berlin. 

  The Sokovia Accords had just messed everything up. Steve had left and it had broken Tony. Peter had been there for it all, his dad had tried to hide how much he was hurting but Peter was old enough, fifteen years, he wasn't stupid and he didn't miss anything. He had to sit there and watch as his dad broke apart slowly but surely. 

  Then he had fought his pa in Berlin. Tony had a certain time to bring Steve back and he had asked Peter to help- he knew that his dad would never have said yes if the circumstance wasn't so dire. Tony knew that it was him but Steve didn't. Peter was just trying to help both his parents but he couldn't help but feel like Tony's secret weapon. 

  It meant that Steve didn't know who he was as he dropped all those tonnes on Peter. Peter didn't tell him either as he fought, still couldn't bring himself to let the secret go. Instead he took out the anger he felt towards his pa, not pulling the punches because Steve had left and broken his dad's heart. That didn't mean that Peter wanted to fight him and every punch he swung, every web he shot hurt him. He didn't stop though because they needed to bring his pa in.

***

  That was all the past now, the Avengers had sorted out the Accords, his dad and pa were back together- even if their relationship was now strained. All that was happening now through was that they were always away. Tony was away on business meetings for Stark Industries or off being Iron Man on government missions. Steve was always tucked away in some far corner of the Earth on some top secret Captain America job that he could never talk about, often accompanied by Nat or Clint.

  With all of that, it meant that Peter was always home alone- the loneliness used to be too much for him and he used to really struggle, now he was more used to it. It wasn't nice and some days it was hard to return to the big, empty house but those days were less and less.

  That morning he woke as he always did, yanked for a nightmare suddenly, panting and shaking, sitting straight up in bed. There was no noise from the rest of the house and why should their be, today marked one month, two weeks and three days since the last time that anyone else had been home. It happened sometimes that they were gone for long periods. Sometimes there would only be a couple of days between visits, sometimes a week... sometimes this. The best times were when there was a week where someone was their all the time. He missed those sorts of weeks.

  Now though it was just Peter. That evening he knew that the cleaner lady Mildred would come. He was friends with Mildred, a woman in her early fifties with grey hair always tied up in a messy bun. She was sweet and kind and always smiling. She only came once a week but every time she did Peter would stay with her and help her with whatever she was doing. They would talk and laugh together, chat about the little things and about nothing at all. When she wasn't there he was just lonely.

  He dragged himself out of bed then, running a hand through his wild, sleep-ruffled curls before pulling back the curtains and letting the morning sunlight spill into his room.

  "Friday could you put some music on?" Peter asked the omnipresent A.I.

  "Any preferences Peter?"

  "Um no, just something from one of Dad's playlists," the teen replied after a moment.

  Not a moment later Aerosmith blasted out over the speakers, the sound echoing throughout the mansion. Peter could hear Steven Tyler singing everywhere, his heightened hearing allowing him to hear the voice all the way down the halls and stairs. Much better than the silence.

  After a quick shower, Peter pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt. His hoody was frayed slightly at the cuff but it was his favourite and it was clean so that went on too. Ned often asked why he wore such "ratty" clothes even though his parents were some of the richest and most influential people on the planet. Peter simply told him that the old clothes were worn in and more comfortable than new and expensive brands. The real truth was that when he wore the old, hole-riddled clothes it was easier for him to be invisible. 

  He left his room after grabbing his bag and ventured into the kitchen. It was spotless. There was not a thing out of place or a millimetre of dirt anywhere to be seen and that was because he had cleaned and cleaned last night after he had finished his homework and before he had gone to bed. He had cleaned purely because he was lonely and bored after finishing up with all else that he need to do.

  Peter took a second then to consider what he wanted for breakfast before opting for toast. Good old toast with jam and so he popped the bread in the toaster and lent against the counter waiting. The teen pressed his forehead to the cool surface, feeling a headache already forming. He really hadn't slept well recently. God he wished there was someone here. Didn't even have to be one of his dads. Just someone.

  Just at that moment Steven Tyler sang " dream until your dreams come true," the voice heard through out the whole oversized house. At least it was supportive.

  As soon as his toast popped he decided that he couldn't be bothered to do anything else with it so just tore a chunk out with his teeth and ate it dry.

***

  At school he was greeted by "you look like shit loser" from Michelle and "hey Peter are you okay?" from Ned. He couldn't help but laugh at MJ's attempt to cover up the fact that she cared. He told them both that he was fine and it wasn't really a lie, he was okay for him.

  He walked to his locker with his two friends, trying not to show how nervous he was in the crowds. It was stupid really but ever since Toomes dropped that building on him he had been acutely aware of the space between him and anything else. He was Spider-man with claustrophobia. How dumb was that?

  "So what are you doing tonight Peter?" Ned asked.

  "Well I was going to go on patrol but we could all meet up to study for the Decathlon after. My place is free," Peter addressed the pair of them.

  "How long has it been now since your place wasn't 'free' then Peter?" Michelle asked with a raised eyebrow leaning against the lockers with arms folded.

  He looked at her and then turned away slightly, the blush that crept up his cheeks was there for one of two reasons. The first was embarrassment over how much the question hurt, the second was embarrassment over how beautiful he found Michelle. Stupid, stupid.

  "Too long I guess," he said, closing his locker and pulling at the straps of his bag pack.

  "Well if you two are free tomorrow night I can get you into Jordan's party," MJ offered.

  "Sounds cool," Ned replied enthusiastically. 

  "Okay, what do you say Peter?" Michelle questioned.

  "Um sure, why not," the teen responded.

 "Right then see you later losers," the girl called back as she pushed herself away from the lockers and walked off to her first class.


	2. Patrol and a Quiet Night

  School seemed to last forever. As it did everyday. When it was over he didn't waste a second on getting out of the door, giving his two friends a quick goodbye and glancing back one last time at MJ before hastily leaving the grounds.

  In the first empty alley he found he stripped down and pulled the suit from his back pack before pulling that on. He slung the bag back on his back- he had lost way too many by webbing them to walls and dumpsters. Sure he was more than rich enough to buy another one but there was still that trouble. Still the records showing his purchase and if his dads saw well... he'd just be that irresponsible kid losing his stuff left right and centre. So he swung up to the rooftops and dumped the bag there. The bag had survived a whole year since he started doing that so it must be working.

  After he dumped the pack he swung off to the next rooftop, clinging to the next wall and climbing. Just moving along. He loved the freedom of it and he wasn't alone either. He had Karen speaking in his ear whenever he wanted it and he did often. After he'd done a bit of crime fighting he'd usually sit and talk to her before heading back to the empty house.

  He tried to keep out of too much trouble as Spider-man now a days. It had nothing to do with Toomes. Even after the fallout he didn't regret any of his actions in the events. He just didn't want to get hurt enough that his dads would be notified. Because that was what they had programmed FRIDAY to do. Or rather that is what Tony programmed FRIDAY to do.

  He'd gotten stabbed once but he had stayed over at Ned's for a full week so that FRIDAY didn't have a chance to scan him for injury. He knew that when his dads had time to see him then they visited, they didn't have time for him being careless and their time was important.

  So when he stopped a robbery that evening he did so using his spidey sense to the full, making sure that the bullets the guy fired at him never came close to him. In the end the guy ended up thoroughly webbed to the wall and the victim- a young man- was thanking him profusely. 

  There wasn't much else to do as usual but today, instead of sitting with Karen, he went back to his pack and changed into his regular clothes. He pulled the hoody on over his web shooters and used them to swing himself back down into the alley.

  It was only a short way from where he was to the store and he made quick time trotting across the roads when the cars let up. When he entered the store he wasn't at all out of breath, walking straight over to the snack aisle and picking out Cheetos, pretzels and popcorn. All snacks that he knew his best friends loved. It was only because there wasn't really that much back at the house and studying with Michelle and Ned was always more fun with a bit of food.

  He brought the snacks up to the counter, passing the money over to the shop keep and stuffing his purchases into his pack.

***

  "Hey Peter!" he heard Ned call from down the hall, breaking the silence that had hung throughout the building.

  Peter looked up from his book, one on physics that he really didn't need for school but was reading because of the interest. He hadn't asked FRIDAY for any music this time, he knew that his friends would arrive only an hour after he did.

  "In here guys!" Peter replied, placing the book to one side and standing to greet them.

  They all hugged in greeting even though it had only been earlier that afternoon that they had last seen each other. Ned had his bag on his back while MJ just clutched the books to her chest. It was sometimes funny to think of MJ as the Decathlon leader because most of these "study sessions" just ended in them doing about half an hour of actual study and the rest was spent watching something or other on Netflix. 

  Mildred popped in to clean when they were half way through their first movie. She smiled at Peter when she saw his friends and moved off to quietly clean. Because of the lack of mess that Peter left she was done relatively quickly, waving goodbye to Peter as she left.

  They watched movies until late. Ned panicked when he noticed the time and asked if he could just stay over, texting his mum when Peter said that that was fine. He was sat on the sofa with one leg bent under him and the other knee pulled up to his chest, he was able to hide his smile in his knee.

  "Do I get an invite or is it strictly boys only," MJ asked, punching Peter's leg.

  "Ow! Yeah sure, stay if you want," Peter said indignantly but really he was blushing at the thought and so was very glad that the lights were off and his friends couldn't see.

***

  Despite the size of the house they all decided to crash in Peter's room. They decided to call it a night at two in the morning when they were all pretty much falling asleep on each other anyway.

  Peter pushed his bed to one side and they brought in extra mattresses so that they were all able to sleep on the same level. He changed into his pyjamas, Ned the same- he had his own set at Peter's because spontaneous sleepovers weren't uncommon- while MJ stripped down to a vest and underwear. Both boys griped about that but really Peter was just secretly mortified that his crush was in such little clothing and that they were sleeping in pretty much the same bed.

***

  The teen woke suddenly the next morning.  He looked around groggily to see both of his friends sleeping there. MJ looked even prettier asleep and he allowed himself a long moment to take her in, unafraid of being caught doing so. Peter was thankful then that the nightmare had woken him quietly. That was usually the case but sometimes it was more messy.

  He carefully pushed back the covers and got up. Might as well make a batch of coffee for when his friends woke up.

  Standing in the kitchen though the dream came back to him. He usually pushed them away when he was awake but this one was the same one that he had been having for the last week. In it he was being crushed under that building but instead of Toomes it was his pa, Steve, that had dropped him on it. Tony always came in when he was begging, Steve would be there watching and would just hold out a hand to stop Tony from going to him.

  He hated the dream because he loved both his dads so much and for the first few moments of waking he was always just a little bit afraid of them. It was pathetic really, after everything both of them had been through, Steve fighting in World War 2, watching his friend day and crashing into the ocean to be frozen for seventy years while Tony had literally been kidnapped and torture, had flown a nuke into a wormhole above New York. Peter had had a building dropped on him and had fought his pa, who hadn't known it was him. He was pathetic.

  "Morning," he heard a sleepy voice behind him.

  Quickly he snapped out of his thoughts and turned to see MJ with ruffled hair, rubbing her eyes and walking towards him still in just her underwear. Just as quickly he turned away again, feeling his ears burning. Peter heard her snort but ignored it.

  "I'm making coffee," he offered instead.

  "Sweet!"


	3. Party

  Ned and MJ stayed until late in the afternoon as it was a Saturday. They had originally planned over breakfast to study more. Of course that went well, their books being left untouched the whole day. Instead they got FRIDAY playing music and then went slightly hyper from too much coffee.

  They started with a pillow fight, the three of them in their night ware taring around several rooms, jumping over furniture and rolling around in fits of laughter. It was practically heaven for Peter and he was glad for perhaps the first time ever that his dads weren't home.

  About lunch time they all crashed, just made themselves sandwiches from the ridiculous number of filling choices in the fridge. They took their food and crashed on the sofa in a tangle of limbs to watch Netflix.

  It was three in the afternoon when Ned left, promising to meet them later at Jordan's party. Peter was then left with MJ and he was surprisingly un-awkward about the whole situation, the tow of them chatting and exchanging insults. She left only half an hour later though and then the house was silent again. He knew that it was only going to be a few hours but they stretched after the last day with his friends. The teen cleaned up the mess that they had left and then made sure that everything was just a little bit extra clean. After that he really did study, got lost in it.

  Before he knew it it was time to get ready and go. Peter didn't usually frequent parties so it took him a while to settle on what to ware, especially if MJ was going to be there. In the end he decided on something semi-casual. 

***

  Music blared out through the open doors of a large house. It wasn't Avengers large but Jordan's parents had cash. There was people out on the lawn clutching red plastic cups, chatting and some making out in the shadows.

  Peter felt more than a little uncomfortable as he looked around for either of his friends, hands shoved deep into his pockets. Eventually he spotted MJ, well they kind of spotted each other at the same time. She bounded down the steps towards him with a rare, genuine smile.

  "Ned's not here yet," she shouted in his ear over the music. 

  She was standing so close, her arm over his shoulder and the side of her face practically touching his. He raised a hand and awkwardly patted her side, trying so hard to be cool because she was so damn close. 

  "Let's go get something to drink," she said in the same manner.

  Peter didn't get a chance to reply before she grabbed his arm and was pulling him into the house. They made their way over to a table where she grabbed two cups, shoving the second into his hand. There were more people crammed in the house and the music was louder. If Peter thought the corridors at school were bad then this house was hell. He took a sip from the cup and choked as he realised that it was some beer or something.

  "Everything good?" MJ asked.

  "Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine," Peter replied, glancing up at her from the cup.

  Of course it was alcohol though. Of course, it was in a red plastic cup at a rich teen's party. Peter had never had alcohol though because his dads discouraged it. Tony used to have a big drinking problem and so both Steve and Tony had always steered Peter well away from any kind of beverage- sure he'd had little tastes but that was all they were, tastes. For a long moment he just played with the cup in his hand, trying not to notice just how many bodies were pressing in around him.

  Then he thought, hell they're not here. It had been over a month and a half, they weren't here.

  Peter drank another gulp and then another, smiling at MJ. When they had both finished their first cup MJ grabbed them each another before they went back out to wait for Ned. Peter was secretly relieved to be able to push out past all of the people back out into the cool night air.

  They were both on their third cup by the time Ned appeared in his hat. Peter was more relaxed, the alcohol probably and he greeted his friend happily. The last two days! They had been the best with his friends around and so much noise. The teen wished that it could just carry on like this- he knew it couldn't but he could wish. Peter decided not to dwell on that though, he was going to enjoy every minute.

  They went back inside once they had all greeted each other, Peter determined not to show his discomfort at that decision. The three of them stood in a corner and kind of bopped along to the music for a while, yelling at each other to be heard. Peter could feel himself getting more and more hazy and knew that he should stop with the alcohol so refused the next cup the Ned offered.

  It was when his oldest friend wondered off though that he did something really stupid. MJ was just there, so pretty and then a guy barged past and pushed her into him. Peter on instinct wrapped her up in his arms but then he went and kissed her. He had never kissed anyone before and he was pretty tipsy so he probably messed it up badly. MJ seemed to respond but it might just been the booze or shock talking so when they pulled apart a moment later Peter was horrified. 

  "I am so sorry," he apologised holding his hands up in surrender, " I'm gonna... I'm gonna go now."

  With that he practically fled the party. He made it a few blocks away before stopping. Really he should call a taxi but the cool night air just felt too good on his too hot skin and was doing wonders for the headache that was forming from hours of blaring music. Oh God what had he done? He had kissed MJ and now he was going to have to face her on Monday and he had just high tailed it out of there like a complete idiot. What had he done?

  The teen ended up just using his spidey ways to get back home. Climbing walks, jumping roofs and slinging a web here and there. By the time he got back though his head hadn't cleared much and the place was so deathly silent. It was so silent that the silence was almost loud.

  Peter had messed up now and he had a whole day to wallow before facing the problem on Monday. He was not looking forward to it.


	4. Consequence

  The next morning Peter woke groggily, the sun that streamed in through the window hurt his eyes. The teen threw an arm up over his face and groaned, remembering the events of the night before. God he had gotten drunk hadn't he? He had a hangover. He had kissed MJ. This was exactly the reason that people shouldn't drink. They made bad decisions and the next day they felt like crap.

  Slowly, Peter pulled himself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom to grab some Advil. He took the pills and ducked his head under the tap to gulp down the water. Slumping against the wall, Peter put his throbbing  head in his hands. He had kissed MJ.

***

  Everything was loud and chaotic as ever for Peter walking into school Monday morning. Today however his nerves were even more frayed than usual because he had kissed MJ and now he was going to have to see her. He was going to probably have to talk to her. He was going to have to sit next to her in lessons.

  He rushed over it his locker, hunching in on himself so that he was even smaller to avoid any of the many students that were barrelling down the corridor from barging into him. After what seemed like too long to Peter he reached his locker. Reaching out for the lock he opened it and shoved some books inside.

  Just as he slammed the locker shut once more and turned around he came face to face with his two best friends. One of course being MJ. Instantly he felt his face growing red and he stammered out a good morning. Ned was looking at his weirdly and MJ had a slowly forming smirk curling up the corners of her mouth. The mouth that he had kissed... Oh god he had to get a grip.

  Before he knew what was happening, MJ was right there and she was kissing him. Peter instantly melted into it, not even letting the shock get to him until they parted. She was definitely smirking now.

  "It was about time loser," she laughed before turning and walking off like nothing had happened.

  He looked over to Ned as if for some confirmation that yes that had actually happened. Ned's gaping mouth and general shocked expression told Peter that yeah MJ had just kissed him.

MJ had just kissed him...

***

  They had sat close at lunch, Ned had been all giggly but MJ had been unconcerned just sat there and read and ate. At one point she had slipped her hand under the table to run down his leg. The action had made Peter jump badly, causing MJ to smirk into her book, but after a moment he reached down and laced his fingers in hers.

  All in all Peter was glowing by the end of the day. He had really wanted to kiss MJ goodbye when they had parted at the school gates but he hadn't had the courage so he had just waved slightly awkwardly and grinned at her.

  Therefore when he got the text he almost burst with happiness.

_Hey Peter. Just to say that I'm going to be home this weekend. Really looking forward to seeing you, love you x - **Pa**_

It was his Pa coming home. After nearly two months he was going to see his Pa again. The smile that Peter had already been wearing grew until it was almost busting off of his face. Steve had been in Europe on some mission that Peter wouldn't be allowed to ask about for his time away. The teen used to worry about his Pa going off, Steve was still mortal after all. He still worried sometimes but not as much, his Pa always came home eventually.

***

  He was sat on some rooftop in Queens a long way from his home, his parents empty mansion. He had to get away because here, watching the sunset over the city, he didn't have to be there and remember that he was lonely. His Pa was coming home this weekend. Peter sure hoped that the 'weekend' was maybe when he was first coming home and not his entire stay. He had MJ now to. Well he had her before, her and Ned being his best friends. The friends that didn't care how rich he was and saw him as his own person and not as the son of Iron man and Captain America. Now though MJ was his girlfriend.

  Peter knew he must be grinning like a fool but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was sat there as Spider-man with a girlfriend and a Pa who was coming home. The teen was on top of the world.

  Soon though, too soon, the sun had set fully and the night was lit only with the lights from the city below him. Realistically he knew that he should head home but he really didn't want to. Peter sat there in the same place for many moments after the sun had set and decided that tonight he wouldn't go home. It wouldn't be the first time he had slept on a random roof.

  With that, Peter swung his legs back over the wall away from the edge of the roof, and jogged over to where his bag lay. Stripping out of the suit, he pulled on his old, worn and ratty clothes. His dads liked to keep his picture out of the press and so not many people knew what he really looked like- not many people at school actually knew that he wasn't just some orphan. Well he was an orphan technically but he was an adopted orphan. When he wore his old clothes he fitted into that persona even more.

  As soon as he finished changing and shoved his suit in his bag, he lay down. That spot was as good as any so he used the bag as a pillow and curled in on himself.

***

  Peter woke when the sun was still only just showing itself. Perfect time really because he needed to get home and get ready for school. He was cold and stiff from sleeping in the open but he didn't regret it as he made his way back, jumping from roof to roof. He couldn't wait to see MJ again.


	5. Steve's Home

    Peter was having the best week of his life. MJ treated their new thing so casually as if it had always been. Whenever Peter felt the slightest bit nervous or awkward she would brush it away. They hung out after school, although Ned was always there "third wheeling" as he put it but never awkward. One night when they were watching Netflix MJ actually curled into his side and he was able to put an arm around her to pull her closer. Every morning she would greet him with a kiss until the Thursday that was when Peter kissed her first. He had blushed as red as his suit but she had just smirked at him and kissed him again, then like that he didn't feel uncomfortable.

  It was that Thursday when they were walking down the corridor from their shared class to meet up with Ned. Peter wasn't too worried about all of the people crowding around them, even if it did still make him uncomfortable he wanted to ask MJ a question and that was making him much more uncomfortable than the crowds were.

  "Spit it out loser," she said as they wove between people. She didn't look at him as she did.

  "Sorry what?" he started, damn her for always knowing there was something.

  "Pete seriously," she smirked at him with a raised eyebrow. God she was pretty.

  "Um... er... Are we... Are you my girlfriend?" Peter stuttered, he couldn't look at her then just continued to push his way through the crowds of students.

  "Course I'm your girlfriend doofus. Don't juts go round snogging random guys now do I?" she laughed, bumping him with her shoulder.

  Peter laughed then, relieved. Girlfriend. How cool? He, Peter Parker had a girlfriend and his girlfriend was none other than Michelle Jones on top of that.

  The other reason that Peter was living the best week of his life was the continual excitement for the weekend. Every morning when he woke up he woke up knowing he was one day closer to seeing his pa again. The house seemed less empty just at the prospect of Steve's return.

  However, Peter thought that his pa would be back on Saturday. That was why he was so unprepared for him to turn up on the Friday instead. He was planning to go round to Ned's where MJ would meet them for a movie night, he was just popping home to grab a change of clothes as Ned had persuaded him- it wasn't hard- into staying the night.

  The teen entered the main living floor with his bag slung over one shoulder and his headphones blasting music into his ears. He was preoccupied by the thoughts of meeting with his friends and the music meant that he couldn't hear what was going on in the world around him. That was why he jumped a mile when strong arms closed around him.

  Panicking, Peter ripped the headphones from his ears. It was then that he heard his pa laughing, the realisation that it was his arms wrapped around the teen caused him to twist around to see the blue eyes and blond hair. He beamed up at the man and hugged him back. For a moment his mind was stuck on memories of Berlin. He suddenly felt a great weight on his chest at the thought that his pa still didn't know that it was him that he had fought at the airport, that sometimes when Peter woke it was Steve's foot connecting with his chest that he felt as vividly as the day it really happened.

  "I missed you," Peter mumbled into his pa's chest, pushing all of that down. He still didn't feel that he had the courage to confess to him and he didn't really want to talk to his dad about confessing to Steve either.

  "I missed you too buddy. I know I've been gone a long time but has anyone else been here? They don't seem to be around right now," Steve questioned, pulling back slightly while still keeping the teen in his arms.

  "Um no it's been me for a bit," Peter said, he felt his ears going red because he didn't want Steve to worry.

  "How long's a bit Peter?" Steve asked in his firm "dad" voice.

  "Pa I'm fine, I-"

  "Peter how long has it been since anyone has been here?" Steve asked firmly, pulling away so that only one of his hands gripped Peter's shoulder.

  "Well Mildred- she's the cleaner- she comes every week and my friends are here a lot," Peter reeled off quickly, knowing full well that was not what his pa meant.

  "I meant your dad or the Avengers Peter and you know it."

  "onemonththreeweeksandthreedays," Peter rushed.

  "I'm sorry what was that?" Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

  Peter sighed and looked down at his feet, "one month, three weeks and three days."

  "That's... that's pretty much two months Peter! Two months on your own!" Steve stepped back shocked.

  "Yeah no it's okay, like I said I have had Mildred and my friends here. You know Ned and MJ right?" Peter with pretty much begging.

  "You know what... Let's just have a nice night, movie, popcorn. Sound like a plan?" Steve offered sadly after a long moment of silence and Peter caught in his pa's pitying stare.

  "Yeah Pa, that sounds amazing," Peter smiled warmly at the man.

  Peter sent a text to MJ and to Ned to explain the situation and that he wasn't going to be coming over. Both of them sent their congratulations and support but then Peter put his phone away ready for it to be just him and his pa.

***

  The night before had been so good. Him and Steve had curled up on the sofa together watching movies and eating popcorn. They had joked and Steve had caught up with Peter, his school, homework and Peter even told him about MJ. Steve had kissed him on the top of the head when Peter had told him he had a girlfriend, had told him that he was proud of him. Peter, of course, didn't tell him about the party.

  When he woke Saturday morning to the sun he felt more content than before knowing that he wasn't alone in the house, that his family was there not only his friends. He hadn't had a nightmare that night either and he felt well rested. It meant that when he finally entered the kitchen mid morning, showered and dressed, he was smiling to himself, unable to stop.

  Steve was there, reading the paper with a mug of coffee in his hands. His hair was wet from the shower which meant that he must already have made a visit to the gym. Peter would never be able to understand how his pa was able to get up at such early hours to do exercise. As soon as Steve noticed Peter, he looked up at him and smiled, getting up from his seat. Apparently he had also made pancakes.

  Peter sat down to a mug of coffee and a plate of pancakes and his pa sat on the other side of the breakfast bar. It was the best. Until Steve looked up at him, sad eyes and fidgeting like there was something that he had to say. Then Peter was just worried.

  "Pa?" he asked, putting down his fork in favour of having complete focus on the man across from him.

  "There's something you should know Peter... because it will effect you and because... well because you aren't a child anymore Peter, you're a young man," Steve said slowly.

  Peter felt more than a little bit of dread at his words and the way he said them. He really wanted to press but he decided that he should probably let his pa go at his own pace. A moment later- admittedly a very long moment- Steve dropped the bomb.

  "Peter... your dad and I are getting divorced."

  For a moment Peter was speechless, he couldn't comprehend what Steve had just said. He wasn't one of those naive children who thought that  it was impossible for his parents to fall out of love. Certainly though, this was Steve's idea. Peter knew for sure that his dad, that Tony, was wholly and completely in love Steve. Steve however... ever since he ran off with Bucky he wasn't so sure that Steve loved his dad as much as his dad loved Steve. Bucky had been Steve's lover back in the day, a secret thing when being gay was something that really wasn't acceptable. It had broken Tony's heart that his husband had run off with his old flame but it didn't stop Tony from loving Steve.

  "Oh... okay," Peter said after a long moment because the way Steve was looking at him expectantly he had to say something.  


	6. Sleepover

  They spent the rest of the weekend carefully avoided the fact that this was probably the last weekend they would spend like this. Carefully avoiding the topic of divorce. In all the weekend wasn't completely horrible but it was unpleasantly tense. Steve was no MJ who was able to wash away all the awkwardness, in fact Peter probably got his awkwardness from his pa. It certainly wasn't from Tony at any rate. 

  When Steve left on Monday though, Peter was miserable. Even more miserable than when one month, two weeks and three days came. He hated the fact that things had finally balanced out after the Accords- of course things were far from perfect butt...- and now things were changing again. Peter was coming to hate the unknown. What if one or even both of his parents drew so far away that he never ever saw them again? What if the divorce destroyed Tony completely? God he just wanted to see his dad to talk to him and hug him. Maybe just see him because he missed him so much.

  The whole way to school he was locked him his hair, drifting along because the route and schedule was so deeply ingrained that he could. Even as he jogged up the steps to the school with the clamour of the other students around him, he was still not really focusing on everything around him.

  "Penny for your thoughts loser," MJ whispered in his ear, wrapping arms around him from behind.

  "Jesus Christ!" The teen jumped out of his skin, not having heard her approach as he rummaged through his locker. Plus, since when did she come up and hug him? Must be a new boyfriend/ girlfriend thing.

  "Calm it Petey, just me not one of your villains," she smirked as he turned to face her.

  "My... my v-villains," Peter stuttered.

  "Yes Spidey your villains," she said with the same smirk, folding her arms over her chest.

  Peter felt all of the blood drain from his face and he opened his mouth to say something but then couldn't really think of anything to say. MJ was studying his face with dark eyes and the smirk was more for show than actually victorious.

  "Don't sweat it, your not as good at secrets as you think. I've known for a while," she reassured him.

  "Oh, okay," Peter said eventually. Really there were worse people to know than his smart, and cool and generally very secretive girlfriend. Girlfriend... that was still cool to even think about. It made him smile a little.

  "So what had you in your head anyway?" MJ said with a small smile to mirror his own.

  "Um... well my dads are getting divorced," Peter said, not looking at her.

  MJ didn't say anything but she did reach a hand out and rubbed it down his arm. He looked up at her then and grabbed the hand that wasn't on his arm, pulling her closer. Pecking her on the lips before offering one more smile, he turned and closed his locker.

  "Better get off," he said to her before greeting his other friend who was bounding up like a puppy," hey Ned."

***

  He was just at the bottom of the steps from school just about to put in his earbuds, ready to go back to his empty house when MJ grabbed his arm. He turned to her with a smile and pulled the buds back out to listen to whatever she wanted to say.

  "Hey, so no one's home at yours I take it," MJ stated.

  "Um no, no one right now. Pa left this morning," Peter replied.

  "Well my parents are away for a few days too, you should come over," MJ said and it was the first time that he ever really saw her even slightly awkward. 

  "I... are you sure?"he asked, surprised.

  "Sure, I mean you don't have to. I don't care. Just... you seem really down and that big place of yours must feel so lonely and empty. So you can crash at mine for a few days if you want," MJ replied.

  "You know that would be great," Peter practically beamed. He felt a lump in his throat but he wasn't going to cry in front of the other teen.

  "You want to grab some stuff, you know where I live," she smiled back. It was the biggest and most honest smile he had ever seen on her face.

  "Um yeah, I need to go on patrol first though," he replied.

  That brought the smirk back. MJ punched his shoulder then kissed him, full on with tongue and all.

  "See you after then. Kick serious butt for me," she smirked, walking away with a wave and then giving him the middle finger.

***

  He had to admit that he was probably a bit too distracted on patrol. Just that he was nervous and excited. That morning Peter had been so miserable but MJ had sorted that. She really was a gift. Thing was, he had only been to her house once, it was nice and big by normal standards but tiny compared to where he lived. Bonus was that she was there of course. It made him sloppy though and he actually had to stop a mugging- the man actually got a swing in that connected with his jaw. That was going to bruise, not that it was a big big deal because MJ knew anyway but...

  When the sun set over the city it was around ten. That was when Peter decided that he couldn't wait anymore so he made his way back home in the dark, hurrying across rooftops using his powers to make the trip as short as possible. In his haste he decided to climb up the outside wall and in through the balcony outside the main living area a few floors up. It was something that he did sometimes so FRIDAY just let him right in. The teen hastily shucked the suit, dumping it in his wardrobe because he wasn't that kid to carry it around at all times anymore. Next he could be found clumsily stumbling round his room putting in jeans while stuffing his bag with everything that was needed. He was gone the moment he was dressed, backpack firmly on and hood up as he swung back through the city.

  He was fidgeting a little too much when he knocked on MJ's door ten minutes later. When she opened it though he seemed to be fine. The girl smiled and silently gestured for him to come in. They made their way up to her room, still not saying a single word. When the door closed behind them Peter dropped his bag to the floor and looked up at MJ expectantly- it was only awkward for a moment.

  "So I'm going to bet you haven't eaten yet Spidey," MJ stated, hands on her hips mockingly.

  "Um no," was Peter's reply.

  "Good," she replied with a smirk, giving him a small shove before continuing," I haven't either so lets get pizza."

***

  That evening was probably on of the best of Peter's life. It was the first time that they had hung out after school without Ned and it was special. They spent the evening eating pizza and popcorn, watching movies and messing about.

  It was two in the morning when they finally went to bed- MJ had a spare bed in her room not that, as she confessed, anyone had slept there apart from cousins. Peter thought that it was weird that it all felt normal as MJ came in from the adjoining bathroom in her Pjs  just as Peter pulled his night shirt over his head.

  He guessed he must have fallen asleep quickly because he didn't really remember lying awake in the dark. Next thing he knew though he was sitting straight up gasping and clutching his chest as he tried to escape from the crushing feeling of that fallen building. The teen felt sweat drip down his forehead and rubbed it away harshly as he remembered fully where he was.

  As soon as the memory set in and he realised that he was in MJ's room  _with_  MJ he whipped around to look at her. He felt startled and cornered when he saw her half sitting- leaning on her elbow looking straight at him.

  "I- I um s-sorry if I woke you," he stuttered, mortified.

  "Nightmare?" she asked, voice crackly from sleep.

  "Um yeah but it's nothing," he murmured in reply before letting himself fall back against the bed.

  "Hey no, come here," she half asked, half ordered, lifting up the sheets.

  "I- I um no it's okay," Peter stuttered. Truth was he would love nothing more than to climb into bed with her and curl up together and fall asleep and technically they'd fallen asleep in a pile before but that was with Ned too...

  "Seriously Peter, you're my boyfriend it's not weird. You'll sleep better I'm sure and you're nice to cuddle anyway," she smirked at him.

  Peter smiled back at her before he made up his mind. The teen pushed himself up and padded across the floor, slipping under the covers with her. They curled into each other with her head on his chest and they're arms around each other. He was so conscious of  how smooth her skin felt against his where his bottoms rode up slightly- she was only wearing underwear.

  Despite that she was right, after he got used to her there he slept better than he had in a long, long while.


	7. Not Just Dealing

  After that first night staying over with MJ Peter found that he wasn't just dealing with his life anymore. He was enjoying it. MJ and Peter hadn't actual spent a night apart since that first time, always wrapped up in a tangle of limbs and body heat. Whether it be at Peter's house or at MJ's the next few weeks they spent entirely together. Sometimes Ned was with them, often he wasn't. Either way Peter loved it and he knew that MJ did to even if she wouldn't admit it and it gave Peter lots of room to tease her.

  He went to more parties with her, drank and was thankful that his fast metabolism meant that he could hold his liquor. Then he smoked weed for the first time, it wasn't great and it messed with all his heightened senses. It also made him more hungry even than usual. Second time was better, both him and MJ just got giggly. All in all he was sleeping better and living life more. He had more energy and was going out on patrol a lot more.

  At first he didn't realise it but he supposed that he was taking more risks at Spider-man. He first realised it when MJ commented on all the bruises and scrapes. Of course they healed pretty quick but they were more frequent. Peter just supposed that he was getting more physical in his scraps, using his webs less and using his fists more. There was no problem with it- as far as Peter saw- because he was more efficient that way and he always came home in one piece.

  That was until he was trying to stop this one mugging. There was only one guy and he was holding a knife to the crying woman's throat. Peter had webbed the hand with the knife and jerked it back, the blade going flying. Only thing was the guy was faster than Peter anticipated. Even with his spidey sense Peter wasn't expecting the guy to be some kind of black belt. In the end though the fight ended with the woman safe and the man all tied up for the cops with a note and all. Problem was the knife that had been at the woman's throat had been buried in Peter's side. 

  He'd never been stabbed before and the pain was more than even being crushed by a building. He felt winded and the pain in his abdomen was radiating through his body. It was kind of humiliating to. Of all the people to stab Spider-man it was this low life mugger in a dark alleyway at night.

  As soon as said mugger was secured in a bunch of webbing Peter pulled the blade out with a pained grunt before swinging off. The teen found an isolated rooftop and stumbled to a halt before actually looking at the wound. It was bleeding heavily and already Peter was feeling faint so he shot a load of webbing at it to hold it together as a makeshift bandage. 

  "Idiot," Peter muttered under his breath. This was exactly the reason that he was so careful in the first place. Now there was no way that he could go home for a couple of days because even with his advanced healing this was going to take time. FRIDAY would scan him for injuries and see it and then tell his dads.

  Could he go to MJ? Yeah, yes he could go to his girlfriend. He could trust her. He didn't have nightmares as much when he was with her but they still happened and when he woke she comforted him. Peter had even confided in her about the building and Berlin and how sometimes the dreams were a mixture of the two. How sometimes he simply dreamed that he would never see his dads again. Never had he told anyone before, he had opened up to her more than anyone else. He trusted her.

  Pulling out his phone, he dialled his girlfriend.

  "Hey Peter," she greeted.

  "Hey um can I stay with you a few days?" Peter asked, hating how breathless he sounded.

  "Yeah sure. You okay though?"

  "I um... I got stabbed and I really don't want my dads to find out."

  "Shit Peter you're such an idiot. I take it that you on the phone to me means you're not dying," she half asked half stated and Peter swore that he could hear a hint of worry.

  "No I'm okay but FRIDAY will scan me to make sure I'm okay if I turn up like this and then she'll find the wound and message my dads and they'll-"

  "Okay, okay I said you could stay over so just get your butt over here!" she cut him off.

***

  MJ was good and calm and they sorted the wound- MJ actually sewed it up and where the hell had she learnt that because she did a great job with really steady hands.

  It only took a few days for the wound to heal and by that point MJ and him had settled into a very domestic situation. MJ's parents were out of town so every morning they would wake up and make each other breakfast, they would kiss and head off to school. In the evenings they would cook together and curl up on the sofa in each other's arms. Before Peter would never have taken MJ for the cuddling type but now he knew she was and he loved it.

  The fourth night as they went off to bed the atmosphere was different. As they were both changing- it was now normal for them to do that in the same room. MJ then turned to him and smirked, walking up and running  hand across his bare chest and over the scar where he had been stabbed.

  "You think that you're healed enough to do something more exciting tonight?" she said with a complete poker face even as her hand continued to run across his skin.

  It took Peter an embarrassingly long moment to realise what she meant and then promptly turned as red as his suit when he got it.

  "Um... yeah. Yeah," he said with growing confidence.

  They kissed and soon fell  back onto the bed, removing all of the clothing they had just changed into. The first time wasn't great but then it never was- both of them had been virgins. Second time was better and Peter knew that if they had gone again it would have been better still.

  When they fell back sweaty and naked against the sheets, MJ curled into Peter's side and the teen placed a soft kiss against his girlfriend's temple. She fell asleep quickly and Peter was able to watch her, how beautiful she was and how lucky he was. Considering what they had just done he didn't feel any different he just felt weird thinking about how lonely he had been a couple of months ago and how amazing his life as in this moment. He found that he couldn't worry about his dads' divorce right then and he also found that he wasn't really missing them as much as he had been. They would visit when they did but in the mean time he had MJ and Ned. 


	8. Divorce

  They hadn't texted him, neither of them. That was why when he entered the kitchen it was such a shock to see both his dads sitting there- admittedly on opposite sides of the room but both still there. He knew that his mouth was hanging open like an idiot but he couldn't bring himself to care as Tony wrapped him up in a hug. It was amazing, he hadn't seen his dad in over four months now and he realised that although he had tried to convince himself that he didn't miss the man he really had. 

  Peter then realised that he was crying but he couldn't bring himself to care. He just gripped tightly to his dad and sobbed at the man ran a hand gently through Peter's hair and whispered in his ear that "everything was okay" and "I'm sorry", "I missed you buddy" and "I love you".

  "I love you too Dad. I missed you so much," Peter mumbled into Tony's shoulder but he knew his dad heard anyway.

 "I'm so sorry Pete, I really am. I can't believe how much you've grown since I saw you. It's been months God Petey. Months! I'm so sorry," Tony said, pulling back and holding Peter's face. Peter was shocked to see that there was tears on his cheek too.

 "It- it's okay Dad. I'm just glad that you're back," Peter said, hugging his briefly again before pulling back," Hey Pa."

  "Hey Pete," Steve smiled from his seat- it was more than slightly sad.

  "Um Peter, I know your pa told you about the divorce when he came home last," Tony said, waiting until Peter nodded before he continued," we are going to be home a while for the divorce but we really need to talk to you so come and sit okay bud."

  Licking his lips nervously, Peter ducked his head and went and sat at the table, Tony joining them. There was a moment of silence when they all just sat there and Peter briefly thought that he had to let MJ know that he couldn't come over tonight.

  "So, Peter you're sixteen now and it is only right that we ask you how you want this to go. By that I mean who you want to live with," Steve broke the silence nervously but when Peter didn't say anything- he really couldn't think how to respond to that- he continued," You can live with me or you could live with your dad or live part time with both of us."

  Even after he finished Peter couldn't answer. This was making it all too real. He wanted to live with both his parents full time and he wanted them to stay married, stay in love and good together. The happy bubble that Peter had built with MJ burst then and he felt all of the weight that he had those months ago when it had just been him and Mildred in the whole big house.

  "Peter, give time to think on it. I know it's a lot but really it is your choice," Tony said, rubbing Peter's back.

  The teen sharply pulled away from his dad and away from the table. He stood, grabbed his pack and made his way to his room making sure not to storm away just walk and not slam the door just shut it. He was calm. He was calm. It was all good. He was all good. He was calm.

  Peter made his way to his private bathroom and concentrated on his breathing to stave off his panic. Splashing water on his face he pulled out his phone and texted MJ.

_Dads  home. Both of them, can't come over sorry. Love you xxx- **Peter**_

_Okay. Hope it all goes well. Love you too loser xxx - **MJ**_

  He put the phone down carefully and rubbed a hand through his hair, looking in the mirror. God what should he do? He really didn't want to live with separated parents. How would that work anyway? Steve and Tony were barely there anyway, if he was living with them seperatly then he would never see them at all. 

  "Shit," Peter sobbed, there were tears streaming down his face but then he laughed because he had just cussed and he never cussed, so he mumbled to himself, "MJ you're such a bad influence."

  Peter could say that he was more than grateful that his parents left him alone. Hours went by and the teen was just curled up in his bed looking at the bare walls. Once upon a time there had been posters of his dads up there but he had taken them down years ago because it just felt weird. Now there was only a large picture of the skyline of Queens printed on a canvas. His dads had brought him that for his birthday two years ago now since Queens had been where he had spent the first three years of his life, was were he had been born, it was where he went to school now. Queens was his favourite place to patrol as well, everyone always associated Spider-man with Queens in the papers.

***

  The alarm clock on Peter's bedside table showed that it was twelve thirty with a red blinking light cutting through the darkness. He still hadn't managed to sleep, he felt too hollow and empty. With a sigh he sat up for the first time in hours, the teen climbed off of the bed and left his room.

  The mansion was silent- like always- and it would be easy to believe that he might be the only one there. This time though, Peter knew that both his parents were there he just couldn't comprehend that he felt so terrible about that. Whenever he used to not be able to sleep he would go down to his dad's lab. Tony was often there until the early hours of the morning if he was home. Peter couldn't sleep now and he knew Tony was home.

 "FRIDAY is Dad in his lab?" Peter asked quietly, only just loud enough for the AI to hear.

  "Yes Peter he is," came the reply a moment later.

  "Thanks."

  Peter made his way down the corridor, the lights all dimmed to a minimum so that they let out only a soft glow as they did every night. The boy entered the empty kitchen, looking at the table he briefly remembered the conversation that took place there hours before. 

  Turning up the lights, Peter brewed coffee, waiting and biting his nails ad he waited. As soon as it was finished he poured two mugs, one was black with no sugar for his dad, the other with cream for him. Then he made his way down to the lab.

  Tony didn't look up when Peter entered but that wasn't a surprise, the inventor was immersed in his work, hunched over his work bench. It was strange seeing it because it had been years since he had been down while Tony was working, only going down when the two were just having father-son time or when Tony wasn't there and Peter just needed to be closer to him. Hell he hadn't seen his father at all in months. He looked older than Peter remembered, older than a few months would have caused. Peter supposed that it was probably the stress of the divorce because he knew with all certainty that Tony still loved Steve as much as he always had and all of a sudden Peter was afraid that his dad was dying of a broken heart.

  The realisation hurt. Peter didn't want to think about it though so he stepped forward until he was by the work top where he put the coffee down. It was then that Tony noticed his presence.

  "Hey Dad," Peter greeted and he hated how small his voice sounded.

  "Hey kiddo," Tony returned quietly, pulling Peter into a tight hug.

  Peter balled his fists tight into the front of his dad's shirt and buried his face in his neck. The teen was determined not to cry again but he was shaking instead and he knew that his dad could feel it.

  "I'm so so sorry Peter. I missed you so much and I promise I will never ever be gone that long again. No where near Peter. That's not what a parent should do because I love you. I'm just... I'm so sorry for this whole mess," Tony spoke and Peter knew from the way that his voice was breaking and the way that he was shuddering against Peter's smaller frame that he was crying.

  Didn't mean that Peter was going to cry. He was not. But then he was.

  Eventually, the boy pulled back from his father. He roughly rubbed at his eyes and stared at Tony's feet. His dad ran a gentle hand through his hair, the other resting on his shoulder. It was then that Peter made up his mind.

  "I want to live with you Dad. When things are sorted with you and Pa I want to live with you," he told Tony, looking straight at him. This time he was proud of how strong his voice sounded.

  There was a range of emotions that flickered across Tony's face then, hope, love, sadness and heartbreak. Peter recognised them because he was feeling them too.

  "Okay buddy. We'll do that," his dad nodded after a moment.

   Peter nodded along with him and offered a smile which Tony returned before Peter was being pulled back in for another gentle, safe, warm embrace.


	9. Argument

  Tony pulled himself out of bed around ten o'clock that morning. He and Peter had dragged themselves back up from the lab at around five both dead on their feet. It had been so good to work with Peter again, he had missed his son so much it had hurt. It also hurt like a bitch that the only reason he was here now was because their family was falling apart.

  And Peter had chosen to stay with him...

  At first Tony had been overjoyed but as he had lain in his empty bed trying to sleep he started thinking about why. Was it because Steve didn't know about Spider-man? Maybe it was because of Berlin because Tony knew that Peter had been seriously bothered by the fight he had had with his pa. Was it because Steve was a back stabbing heart breaker? He didn't know but he hoped that Peter's decision was at least in some way influenced by his love for Tony.

  In that moment though, he left his bedroom and made his way down the hall with a grumbling stomach. It was then that he ran into his son.

  "Morning Peter, you sure you got enough sleep?" Tony greeted, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulder and planting a kiss in the mess of curly hair.

  "I got more than you did Dad," Peter snorted.

  "Well at least I'm awake enough to get dressed kid," Tony said, poking Peter in the side after he looked down to see the teen still in his Pjs.

  "Just want food and coffee," Peter mumbled sticking his tongue out at him.

  "You really are taking after me," Tony laughed, Peter along with him.

  That was how they entered the kitchen, laughing with Tony's arm around Peter. It was good. But Steve was there and all of the mirth left him as he took in his soon to be ex. Steve looked up from his paper and smiled at Peter, completely ignoring Tony. The billionaire snorted, his husband was like clockwork; workout, shower, breakfast, paper. Paper reading always came at ten. Always a paper no matter how much Tony tried to introduce him to the wonderful world of news websites on the mystical Stark pad. Not that he gave a rats ass anymore.

  Peter must have sensed Tony's sudden change in mood because he cast him a quick wary look before ducking out from under his arm and making his way over to the coffee machine.

  "Morning Peter. I hate to ask but have you thought any more on the question your dad and I asked you last night?" Steve asked.

  Tony looked down at the floor then, at his feet which were suddenly very interesting. Oh hell why did he have to be in the room? No, that was not the right attitude. He was here and that would undoubtedly be better for Peter. The poor kid who was stuttering and fumbling over his words at that moment.

  "I... I um well see I have... I have chosen to- to live with Dad. J-Just Dad," Peter told Steve, not looking at him.

  For a long moment Steve didn't say anything just looked between Peter and Tony. He looked sad but not surprised, disappointed maybe. Peter just looked guilty and that sucked away any satisfaction Tony may have had over the situation. Eventually though he just said "okay".

  "Yeah um I am going to go and take this coffee and I am going to do some homework... in- in my room," Peter told them slowly backing out of the room.

  "Okay, see you later buddy," Tony said quietly before looking back at Steve.

  "So how come he chose not to spend any time living with me then? What did you do Tony?" Steve accused as soon as Peter was out of ear shot- or rather as soon as Steve thought he was but Tony knew otherwise as he knew about Peter's super hearing and so Tony just stood there and cringed. 

  "I'll have you know that I didn't say or do a thing," Tony hissed back through his teeth.

  Steve stood then looking livid and strode over to tower over Tony. The billionaire glared up at the face of the guy that he hated that he still loved. He was innocent- for once- and Steve was going to know it.

  "I am his father as much as you are so why the hell would he chose to cut me out of his life Tony," the taller man growled.

  "He hasn't chosen to cut you out of his life Steve just not live with you. You don't have to blow everything out of proportion Steve God!" Tony half shouted back.

  "Okay then why the hell does he not want to live with me Tony?" Steve properly yelled back and Christ Tony knew that Peter would be able to hear every word but he was just too angry not to shout back.

  "Oh no idea Steve! Couldn't possibly be because this is your fault! Couldn't possibly be because you were the one that ran off with another man and left your husband and son behind! You abandoned him Steve just like you did with me. Do you think that that won't hurt him? Fucking selfish idiot! That's all you are Steve; a selfish idiot!" Tony practically screamed.

  Steve's mouth twisted, his whole face contorting into something bitter. It looked like he was trying hard not to cry.

  "You know what Bucky means to me Tony," he returned and it was quiet, broken. 

  "Yeah but you married me Steve. Me. We have a kid together and a life. Love. You know that I love you, still do despite everything but I... I hate you more. I hate the sight of you. The sound of you. I hate the air you breath because good old Captain America, Mr Morals, couldn't stand by his wedding vows. I wasn't enough. Peter wasn't enough. And I hate you, I tried to make this work for months for Peter but I hate you too much," Tony spat.

  He turned away then, coffee forgotten, and stormed down to his lab. God he couldn't wait until those divorce papers were signed and Steve would be gone because his heart was breaking. It hurt so damn much because he really did love that stupid lab experiment but he knew that said lab experiment loved his childhood friend more than he loved him. He had run off with the other soldier, shacked up with him, abandoned his family to go off with him. The man that killed Tony's parents no less.

  How the hell had Tony thought that he could make this work?


	10. Forgive

  That first fight between his parents had really made the whole divorce thing real for Peter. He had heard every word despite the many rooms between them, it was the first time that the teen regretted his Spider-man abilities. It made him guilty because he had hurt his pa. Really when he had made the decision he had known that it would hurt Steve but it was different actually listening to that hurt.

  It wasn't the last argument either. Not even the last one that day. They started over the smallest things for instance the second argument of the day started after Steve snapped at Tony for always making a mess when getting coffee. Peter heard every word.

  The teen decided that the best place to spend the day was his room. His parents rarely came into his room, choosing to give him privacy once he became a teen. It meant that they left him alone- it was why he had been so surprised the night his dad had found out about Spider-man. Not that they would have come looking for him anyway they were too busy yelling at each other. 

  On and off all day he was texting MJ and Ned. Nothing about his dads- when they had asked he'd just said everything was surprisingly fine- just other stuff, nerdy stuff often between Ned and Peter with MJ giving them shit for it. Finally at eight when Tony and Steve were yelling again he decided to go out on patrol. Sending off a quick message to his friends he pulled out the suit.

  Once he was in just his boxers he looked down at his body, at the muscles that he hadn't had before the spider bit him, at the scar from where he had been reckless. The teen wondered how much of an argument his night time activities would cause. His dad had found out before there was trouble with his pa, had chosen to keep it from him. Tony had said that they would have to sit down at some point to talk through it, to discuss telling Steve. That discussion had never come however as things had spiralled in the weeks following until the Sokovia Accords happened and Steve was gone making that conversation unnecessary.

  Sighing, Peter pulled on the suit, opened the window and jumped leaving the sounds of his parents falling apart behind.

  He let the rush of the fall consume him for a moment before he shot a web onto the nearest structure and swung off into the city. That night he made sure to be extra careful, he couldn't come home with a single scrape or bruise lest Steve see it and asks questions because he really didn't want anything else for his parents to argue over.

  He was sat on the roof of an old warehouse when he got the call from his dad. It was unexpected so he jumped when the ringing started but accepted anyway. After asking Karen he found it was half ten.

  "Hey Dad," Peter greeted, looking at the little image of his dad as the man smiled at him.

  "Hey kiddo. Take it you're out patrolling."

  "Yeah um is- is there a problem? Do you want me to come back?" Peter asked.

  "Do you usually stay out this late Peter?"

  "Yeah. Sometimes. I mean I don't go out every night and sometimes I go out later or earlier or... sorry I just yeah..." Peter rambled and he knew that he was blushing. This was his dad, it was stupid to get tongue tied.

  "Hey Peter are you okay?" Tony asked, concern in his voice and written in the lines of his face.

  "Yeah sorry. I'm coming back now," Peter replied.

  "Okay son. It's just you missed dinner," Tony nodded and smiled before it seemed that something hit him, "hey I thought you went out patrolling every night?"

  "Yeah... I um yeah. Used to. Don't know why I just sometimes... just sometimes don't you know," Peter said slowly. He didn't know why but his dad was right, he used to go out religiously before.

  "Okay buddy I'll see you back home. Love you," Tony smiled.

  "Yeah okay, love you too Dad," Peter replied, ending the call.

  He sat there for a moment longer before he moved, deciding in a split second to make a more direct route back home rather than making any detours. He'd forgotten about dinner, he hadn't eaten all day but he wasn't hungry anyway which he supposed was unusual because he was always hungry even before the spider bite. 

  Back home he made it back in through the window and out of his suit without mishap. The room was cold by that point from having the window open so long and the chill bit at his bare skin as he changed. It didn't bother him though.

  Eventually, after dressing and standing in front of his bedroom door for a long while, he went out into the rest of the house. It was quiet now, they were no longer yelling. His bare feet made no sound on the floor so there was only silence, like there usually was when he was home alone.

  In the kitchen there was only Steve who was reading some paperback which he closed as soon as Peter entered. The smiled at each other like some sadder parody of that morning.

  "Where'd you go out to Pete? Your dad seemed to know but he didn't tell me," Steve asked. Peter shifted uncomfortably, both at the venom with which Steve mentioned Tony- venom that he tried and failed to hide- and the fact that now he had to openly lie.

  "I just went over to Ned's," Peter told him, moving off to make himself a sandwich.

  "So how's the girlfriend?" his pa asked slightly awkwardly as if to fill the silence.

  "MJ? She's good," Peter replied as he got out the bread.

  "So... you know I love you right?"

  "Course Pa," Peter said without turning around, suddenly even less hungry than before. He put the bread away again.

  "I always will and I'm... I'm sorry okay Peter. I didn't leave because I don't I left because I had to," Steve said, almost begged.

  Peter turned around then and Steve stood so the teen strode forward and pulled his pa into a tight hug.

  "I know Pa," he mumbled into Steve's broad chest. He felt his pa's heart beating against his forehead and the chest rising and falling, breathing more laboured as he tried to stifle his sobs.

  "I didn't want to go live with Dad because I don't love you or because I think that you don't love me," Peter said to him.

  "Okay... okay Peter. Is there anything I can do to make you maybe want shared custody?" he asked Peter.

  "No," Peter said straight away. He pulled away feeling suddenly trapped and quickly left.

  He didn't want to hurt his pa but he was hurt by his pa. He didn't trust him and, even though it wasn't Steve's fault, he was slightly scared to. It was ridiculous, he'd been beaten by loads of people as Spider-man but Steve was his pa and his dreams had warped the fight so that Peter associated it with the other things that he was scared off. The building and his claustrophobia. The Vulture. 

  Peter also didn't think that he would ever be able to forgive Steve for breaking his dad's heart. 


	11. Independent

  Tony had been watching Peter closely because of all that had been going on. He needed to know how his son was handling things, what seemed to upset him the most. Most important of all how he could possibly help make things easier. The only thing that Tony can see is that Peter had become a very independent young man.

  It was plausible he supposed. The kid had been left alone for months- something that Tony still couldn't believe he had let happen. Thing was, Peter was out all of the time, they hardly saw the teen. It was just him and Steve in the house. The teen was gone most nights, he was either at Ned's house or MJ's. After a bit of playful pushing and a lot of blushing from Peter the kid had admitted to Tony that MJ was his girlfriend. The billionaire had congratulated his son and told him to use protection which had made Peter blush even more.

  Point was, Peter had spent the first weekend at the mansion and now it was Wednesday and Tony hadn't seen Peter since he left for school on Monday. He hadn't even left with an overnight bag which made Tony question how often Peter slept over with his friends.

  He was mulling that over as he sat in the empty living room with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

  "Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y how often did Peter sleep here when we were away?" Tony asked the A.I while staring blankly at his glass.

  "Peter slept here every day for about the first month and a half but after that he only spent the occasional night here after that. Before your arrival Peter had not spent the night for three weeks and five days although he visited every few days to grab some items," F.R.I.D.A.Y answered him.

  That was a long time. Again though it made sense. Tony knew his son and he knew that Peter was a very social person. He loved human contact so it only made sense that he basically abandoned the empty house. That thought made Tony feel even worse about how he had left, sure he had been busy but he could have easily made time to visit every now and then. 

  He thought about calling his son but then he decided against it. God he was a bad father, he had no idea what to do. He had practically abandoned his teenage son and now that he was here had driven him away with this stupid divorce. He didn't even know if he could fully commit to looking after Peter with how he was right now. He was borderline alcoholic and had been since Steve had run off with Barnes.

  Tony was stupidly in love with Steve but now that everything had happened every time that he thought of the man made his chest ache. Steve had admitted to sleeping with his old lover when they had first reunited and Tony had said that they could still try to make things worse. Hell he himself had cheated on plenty of girlfriends and boyfriends. Not his husband but the point was that Tony was no saint. 

  The only thing was that Steve didn't seem like he really wanted their marriage to work out. Whenever they were together Steve was only half there or they were arguing. Even the sex was rubbish, rushed and uncaring.  

  In the end it was Tony that had proposed the divorce. He was sick of trying to fix something that was never ever in a million fucking years going to be fixed. Now though he needed to just focus on Peter. He was mad at Steve for abandoning their son but he had to in order to try and sort his marriage.

  "Shit," he huffed as he downed the rest of the whiskey before standing up. He needed to get out and he needed to check in on his son to make sure the kid was actually still breathing.

  He finally called Peter, the kid picking up after only the second ring. He seemed fine, a little shy maybe which Tony didn't like- he was Peter's dad, Peter shouldn't be shy. They arranged to meet at a cafe in Queens so as soon as they said goodbye Tony moved off to change into old clothes that didn't make him look like he had any money. 

***

  He pulled his hood further down his face as he entered the small cafe. He'd only been here once before with Peter but he knew that Peter and his friends came here often. It was something that Tony often found strange about his son how even though he had grown up with too much money to ever spend he had very cheap tastes. He wore baggy, ratty old clothes that were never in fashion and he ate and preferred low cost food not any of the fancy rubbish that could often be found at one of Tony's parties. It was something that he respected Peter for a lot and was grateful for even if he didn't understand where it came from.

  Inside the cafe, Peter was already there sat in a booth with a coffee in front of him. The kid looked good, maybe a little bit too thin but he had noticed that before. He did notice though that Peter was wearing an old, worn Black Sabbath t-shirt. His Black Sabbath t-shirt to be exact.

  "Hey kiddo," Tony greeted as he sat himself down in front of his son, it was the first time that Peter looked up and noticed him. 

  "Hey Dad," Peter smiled.

  "Is that my t-shirt you're wearing Pete?" Tony smirked, reaching over the table to briefly squeeze the kid's shoulder.

  Peter looked down quickly, pulling at the material before looking back up sheepishly.

  "Sorry," he laughed, "I didn't realise."

  "Na you're good. Where have you been? Haven't seen you in days," Tony asked, getting straight to the point.

  "I have been at MJ's," Peter confessed looking down at the table while tapping a finger on the lid of his coffee.

  "Oh I see. Things going well?" Tony asked, shoving Peter slightly.

  "Yeah Dad," the kid laughed, red with embarrassment once again.

  "So have you two done the do yet?" 

  "Dad!" Peter whisper yelled going impossibly redder.

  Tony took a minute to take in his blushing son and decided that yes, they had done the do and he chuckled to himself. He was happy for the kid because he seemed smitten every time he talked about this girl and he deserved it. She had been somewhere for Peter to go to when he hadn't been there.

  "I'm glad you've got someone okay buddy."

  "Thanks Dad. Sorry that I haven't been home it's just... I you know," Peter trailed off, finger tapping furiously again.

  "Yeah no I understand Peter. I know you're able to look after yourself, it's why I didn't call. Kind of condescending after leaving you for so long you know. Just um... try to come around a bit. I know you're an independent kid, always have been but just come visit your old man in the lab every once in a while," Tony gave a half smile.

  "Sure, of course Dad."

  "Good. So while you're out in the world I take it you're being responsible like me."

  "Haha Dad, no I'm good."

  "So no drugs then?"

  "Um um no," Peter stuttered and God the kid's biggest flaw was lying.

  "You're doing drugs Peter," Tony said quietly so that the rest of the cafe didn't know that little piece of information. He couldn't really believe it himself, he'd said it as a joke because he thought that Peter was not that kid.

  "I- I um no not really. I've smoke a bit of weed, that's... that's all I promise. And not regularly either Dad," Peter stuttered and mumbled.

  "Okay. Again, I can't be a hypocrite and I did a lot worse than weed when I was your age so that's cool," Tony nodded, squeezing his son's shoulder once more.

  "Right okay," Peter mumbled before he brought the coffee up to his lips.

  "You gonna come home with me or are you going back to the girlfriend? I don't mind either way," Tony asked but really he did mind. He wanted Peter to come home really bad and just be near him.

  "I'll come home yeah. Shouldn't really stay away that long. Hey but don't you want some coffee?"

  "Yeah. Coffee and home. Sounds like a plan," he smiled at his son as they got up from the booth together.


	12. Spider-man

  Steve had greeted Peter with a warm hug when they had returned to the house. He smiled at his son and ruffled Peter's hair like he always used to when Peter was younger.

  "Missed you buddy, glad you're back," Steve said.

  "Thanks Pa."

  Peter had spent the night curled on the sofa with Steve watching films and eating popcorn just like he had the first night when Steve had visited that time months ago. Tony had disappeared off somewhere, probably of to his lab. The teen wished that they could have movie nights like they used to with all three of them there together but he knew that that would no longer be a reality with the divorce. Instead he settled into his pa's side and watched the film.

  In the end he fell asleep with Steve's giant arms wrapped around him. When he woke the TV was no longer on and the room was bathed in the soft glow that the lights took on when it was night. Steve was still there, the two curled up on the sofa laying fully down now with Peter's face buried in his father's chest. Steve's breathing was steady and Peter knew that he was still asleep, it was nice really. Really nice. He hadn't fallen asleep with his pa like this since he was very little.

  Still, he needed to pee and his back was cramping so he very gently untangled himself from his pa, getting up from the sofa and making his way to his room. As soon as he relieved himself he changed into slacks- it was warm out- and curled up in his own bed.

***

  The next morning it was the light through the windows that woke him- he'd forgotten to draw the curtains the night before. Groaning he turned to look at the clock on his bedside table which read 6:30. He had no idea what time he had crawled into bed last night but his groggy brain was telling him that it was not long enough ago.

  Whatever he was awake now so he pulled himself up and stumbled out of the door on his way to the kitchen, if he was going to do this he needed coffee. Hell he needed to get to school. 

  As usual his pa was sat there at the table, this morning he was only just there after making his coffee and his hair was still wet.

  "Sleep well? I know we fell asleep on the couch but you went off after that didn't you?" Steve asked.

  "Yeah, got school so... would rather still be in bed though," Peter mumbled in reply still half asleep as he stumbled over to the coffee maker.

  "Hey Peter," Steve addressed him suddenly.

  "Yeah Pa?"

  "Turn around," Steve ordered so Peter did, facing his pa with a questioning look.

  "Where the hell did you get that scar?" Steve asked as if he was trying to keep the panic from his voice.

  Peter looked down at his naked torso in confusion and then he saw the scar from when he was stabbed. It was thick and obvious on his abs, it looked nasty. Probably because he never went to the hospital and just had MJ sew it up- he still wanted to know where the hell she'd learnt that trick. 

  "I um I got it. I don't... surgery?" Peter stuttered.

  "Surgery? Really Peter? Surgery?" and now Steve was stood and he was angry.

  Peter shrank back slightly and looked away. How the hell could he tell his pa where the scar came from? He didn't want to tell Tony and his dad knew about Spider-man. 

  "Hey what's going on?" came his dad's sleepy voice from the doorway. Great. Both parents.

  "N-nothing Dad," Peter said automatically and promptly regretted his words as Steve turned to glare at him again.

  "Tony do you know where this scar came from because Peter here says surgery but it looks more to me like he's been stabbed," Steve gritted out and Peter paled as his pa hit the nail right on the head.

  Tony strode over to him then and grabbed his hips before running a thumb over the scar. He looked up at Peter but Peter didn't, couldn't, look back until Tony physically pulled his chin up.

  "Why on Earth did you not tell me about this? Hmm? This is from a stab wound right?" his dad was mad too.

  "Hey wait, what do you mean by why didn't he tell you?" Steve demanded, pulling on Tony's arm until he let go of Peter and was facing him instead.

  There was a moment of silence where they all just stood and looked at each other. Peter ran a self-conscious hand over his abdomen, his heart beating a million miles an hour. He didn't want Steve to know but what the hell where they meant to say about Peter being stabbed and Tony freaking out over Peter not saying anything and not the actual fact that someone shoved a knife in his body?

  "Dad-" Peter started.

  "No Peter. You lost the right to this secret when you decided to hide things from me. In fact F.R.I.D.A.Y why didn't you tell me about this?" Tony asked angrily.

  "Peter never came home supporting a stab wound Mr Stark," the A.I replied.

  "Never came home huh? Nice. So you were off where to avoid F.R.I.D.A.Y finding out?" Tony spoke directly to the teen.

  "MJ's. I just... I just didn't want you to worry because I was fine and you were so busy. I mean look I'm all healed there's nothing to worry about," Peter blurted.

  "Too busy? Too busy for you being stabbed? Peter we're your parents. If you get hurt it's our job to be there for you!" Tony yelled.

  "Tony!" Steve exclaimed and waited until his husband turned back to him, "what secret?"

  "Peter's Spider-man Steve," Tony growled.

  "Wait what?"

  Steve looked horrified, staring at Peter as if he had never seen him before. Peter shrank back even more from the gaze and had to fight the horrifying threat of tears. He couldn't cry in front of them. 

  "I... I hurt you. In Berlin I hurt you Peter," Steve breathed.

  "It's fine. You didn't know," Peter mumbled still not looking at either one of his dads.

  "Why the hell did you think it would be a good idea to hide this Peter? I still don't get that. I don't get why you would think that we wouldn't have time for you," Tony said to Peter again.

  "Time?" Peter asked and suddenly he felt angry, "You weren't there for months. Neither of you. You even more than Pa Dad. I didn't see you for nearly four whole months! If you're so busy that you can't visit me once in four months then I'd like to think that it's important and that you're saving the world. If you're off saving the world then I'd rather crash with my girlfriend to heal a few weeks than pull you away from that."

  Peter knew that he was crying now. He was hurting and he was angry and he couldn't help it. Steve knew about Spider-man and he was guilty for hurting Peter and Tony was disappointed and let down and those where the last things that Peter wanted right then.

  Instead of just standing there crying like a kid he ran. He turned and ran to his room. There he hastily pulled on clothes and put on his web shooters. He could hear his dads calling to him through the door but then, just as they pushed through into the room, he jumped out of the window and shot the webs out, flying through the air. He just hoped that his dad didn't try and follow as Iron Man. He'd left his phone and the suit at home so if he hid Tony wouldn't be able to track him. Anyhow, Peter would go back later he just needed time.


	13. Guilt

   Steve couldn't help but just stand there and watch as Peter ran away from them. His son was Spider-man. He couldn't believe it. In Berlin he had fought Peter and he had hit Peter with no restraint because he was just another masked opponent that was standing in between him and Bucky. He had hurt his son. He had abandoned him. Tony was right. God Tony was right, Steve had just left and he had beaten Peter up in order to do so.

  Not only that but Peter was getting hurt himself swinging around the city in a mask. Peter was meant to be a teenager, a normal, good teenager. But he wasn't. Of course he wasn't with him and Tony as parents. Now he was out getting stabbed, he had a scar that looked nasty. He didn't understand Peter's powers, all he knew was that he had super strength and with very flexible. 

  Now all he could hear was his son's words echoing in his head  _You weren't there for months._ They weren't. It was true. Steve had abandoned Peter and when he came back he was never around and they had only come back properly to divorce. Peter had been acting like he was fine but he hadn't had he? He'd been hiding in his room or he'd been at his girlfriend's house for days. Now he had just run off crying.

  Steve looked over at Tony to see that his husband had slid down the counter and was sitting on the floor with his face in his hands. He was shaking and Steve knew that he was crying even though he wasn't making a sound.

  "Tony..." Steve said softly.

  "Fuck off Steve," Tony said and it was so broken. He had never heard Tony sound so broken before, not once in all their years.

  It was then that Steve found he was crying too, tears running hot down his cheeks. God this was all his fault. Things had been good before he had left with Bucky. Sure he loved his oldest friend and he had broken his wedding vows sleeping with the other man as well as breaking Tony's heart. 

  Thing was Steve loved Tony too. He just felt like he was being pulled in so many different directions. Or rather he had. That was why things hadn't sorted out when they had decided to start over. Now though... now after seeing his superhero son rush out in tears and his husband broken on the kitchen floor he knew that he needed to stay. He loved Tony and he loved Peter and he loved them much more than he loved Bucky. He'd just thought in that moment that Bucky had needed him more. He saw in that moment that he had been wrong and that he had destroyed the two people he loved the most.

  God it was all just his fault.

  "Tony please just-" Steve started, crouching down and laying a hand on his husband's shoulder.

  "I said fuck off Steve," Tony growled after violently flinching away from the touch.

  The billionaire's face was red and blotchy, tears still leaking from his eyes. Even as he pushed himself up his breathing was hitched as he tried to suppress his sobs.

  Then he was gone and Steve was left all alone crouched in the kitchen and at a loss for what to do. 

***

  Tony could remember his fight with Steve and Bucky so clearly. At the time he was already guilt ridden after having sent Peter in to help them at Berlin. He knew that his son was suffering and fighting his pa had only made it a thousand times worse.

  When he saw Bucky and Steve though... well he felt a hundred times worse. It was different to Berlin, it was just the two of them and Tony. It was the lingering touches and looks as Tony watched on the monitor as Bucky killed his parents. Logically he knew that Barnes hadn't really been himself when he had done it but he was himself now after he had taken his husband.

  He still didn't know if he would or wouldn't have tried to kill the man if it wasn't for the video but the video was there, he had seen it so it was what it was. 

  It was when Steve rushed to Bucky's aid and brushed the hair behind his ear, looking over him so tenderly before he turned and punched Tony full in the face. It was when Steve left Tony there in the broken suit, battered and bruised to go to the other man. When he hauled the super soldier to his feet and pressed a kiss to the side of Barnes' head and Barnes leaned into the touch with familiarity.

  That fight was when Tony's heart truly broke as he lay there and struggled to get to his feet once more long after his husband and his husband's lover had disappeared off. He had then decided that he would focus on Peter, make sure Peter and Spider-man kept safe and good.

  Now, sitting there on that kitchen floor, he knew that he had failed because he hadn't been there for Peter. He had tried to get his marriage back together- at first he had told himself that it was for Peter but really he knew it was for himself. After that, when it became clear that him and Steve were screwed, he had buried himself in his work to distract himself.

  Tony had abandoned Peter and now he came home with Peter thinking that he wasn't important. He had come home to Peter with scars. Peter who had hidden away from his own home so that he didn't inconvenience his own parents after he had been stabbed. 

  "Tony..." he heard his name and then realised that it was Steve.

  "Fuck off Steve," he hissed and it came out a lot, lot weaker than he had hoped. He couldn't deal with the man right now.

  "Tony please just-" Steve started before Tony cut him off with a "I said fuck off Steve".

  The man had had the audacity to touch him and he couldn't help but flinch away because hell if it didn't feel like that touch had burned him. He pushed himself up then and glared at the other man, he knew that he must look a state but he couldn't bring himself to care as he stormed out.

  He entered his room- his new room, neither of them slept in the room that they had for the rest of their marriage. There was a private bathroom off of it and he washed his face in the sink before studying his own face in the mirror. He looked okay. Not like he had been crying.

  Good enough.

  Tony made his way back down the hall to Peter's room. He really needed to talk to his son so even though there was no answer after he knocked he walked in. He walked into an empty room and an open window. Stupid cliche.

  "Shit. God why," Tony swore as he felt his chest tighten up again. He had screwed the pooch well and truly with this one.


	14. Problems

  He hadn't meant to yell at his dad like that. His dad didn't deserve that, Peter knew that he was busy and he wasn't a whiny needy child anymore. He had just be scared and overwhelmed. Tony had told Steve about him being Spider-man and Steve's look of horror broke his heart.

_" If you're so busy that you can't visit me once in four months then I'd like to think that it's important and that you're saving the world. If you're off saving the world then I'd rather crash with my girlfriend to heal a few weeks than pull you away from that."_

  That is what he had yelled and now his dads would see him as weak or broken or something, anything but strong. Anything but someone worthy of being a superhero. But he was worthy. He saved people, he could fight and save himself. Sure he had gotten himself stabbed but that was only once. Sure he had... God he had daddy issues didn't he. That was it, that was the only think wrong with him.

  For a few moments he had hung around his room, pacing wildly and rubbing harshly at his face to get rid of the tears. Then he had heard his dad yell at his pa and he knew that there was going to be another argument. He had to get out of there.

  The teen quickly dressed and opened the window. For only a moment he looked out at the city below before he pushed himself out and shot his webbing to the next building.

***

  He'd left his phone on the bedside table- deliberately- so it meant that he couldn't call ahead to see if MJ was home. It meant that when he reached her house he rang the bell and just hoped. The next moment the door opened to MJ's mother.

  She was a stern looking woman, tall, thin and intimidating. Someone you wouldn't want to mess with just by looking at her. Books and cover though, she was nothing like how she looked. She was kind and open, always willing to help. MJ's father was a very short, thin man who was very eccentric but kind much like his wife. Peter had no clue where MJ came from.

  "Hello Peter," Mrs Jones greeted, "MJ's in her room."

  "Thanks Mrs Jones," Peter smiled, passing her as she stood aside.

  Sure enough MJ was sat on her bed with her nose buried in a book. As soon as he closed the door behind him however she looked up and smiled, closing the book. It was lovely when she smiled at him, something that she would only do really when it was just them. 

  "How are you Peter? Parents arguing?" She asked.

  "Probably. I got out of there before they could start."

  "So... what actually happened then?" MJ questioned, sitting up straighter with a curious look on her face.

  "Well they um... they saw my scar from well this one," he stuttered, raising his shirt and pointed at the blemish, "Then Dad told Pa that I was Spider-man because I hadn't told him I got stabbed and then I just yelled at them and I God... I made Dad cry MJ. I could hear him."

  She didn't say anything just stood and kissed him. Peter never thought that he would be glad to have a girlfriend that was taller than  him but in that moment he was glad. He was able to bury his head in her neck comfortably and breathe in the scent of her to calm himself.

  "I think you should go home and sort this Peter," she said as she hugged him close to her.

  "Sort things out. Yeah I know. This time it's my fault," Peter mumbled against her skin.

  "Absolutely," she said, voice smug and Peter knew that if he was looking her face would sport that smug curl of her lips.

  "Okay all knowing I'm off then," Peter smiled, pulling away.

  "Shoo then," she half laughed.

  "Hey wait MJ," Peter said as he reached the door, turning to face her, "shouldn't you be in school?"

  "Shouldn't you?"

  "I have a reason doofus."

  "Yeah and how do you know I don't?"

  "God you're just one mystery after the next. Are you even human?" 

  "Who knows. Now fuck off Peter!"

  "Alright I'm going!" 

***

  By the time he climbed back in through his window it was one in the afternoon- okay he may have stalled on the way home. Some small part of his brain was running over all the lessons that he would have missed because it was one o'clock there was no point in going in now. A larger part of his brain though was going over what he was going to say to his dads.

  As he climbed back in through the window he still had no idea.

  Touching down and turning to close the window he turned back around to see his dad sat with his knees to his chest and head in his hands. He obviously didn't hear Peter because he didn't look up but he did jump out of his skin when Peter sat down besides him and wrapped his arms around his dad.

  "Peter?" Tony asked as he looked up.

  His dad wrapped his arms quickly around Peter's smaller body and pressed a kiss to into his hair. The teen could feel the tears dropping down onto his scalp and the heaves of Tony's chest as he tried to keep from sobbing. God this was all Peter's fault.

  He had yelled at Tony for abandoning him for a longer time than Steve but that wasn't fair. It was far, far from the truth. Steve had left them both long before those four months that Tony wasn't there. His pa had left his dad broken hearted and yet Tony had been there for Peter, he had put on a brave face for Peter. He was his dad, his parent, when Steve had left with another man.

  "I'm so sorry Dad, I didn't mean it. You were there for me after Pa left us. After he left you. You never left me I'm so sorry for saying that," Peter chocked out as he buried his face in his dad's neck.

  "Peter I did leave you. Not like Steve left us but I didn't see you for so long and I'm sorry. I love you more than anything and you are more important to me than anything and I will never be away for longer than I absolutely have to. Okay?" Tony said after pulling back to look down at his son.

  Peter nodded and lent into Tony's touch as the man smoothed his cheek.

  "I love you Dad I know. I love you so so much. It's why I want to come live with you because I know you love me enough that you would never really leave me," Peter confessed.

  "I promise buddy. I promise," Tony sobbed, tears running freely down his face as he pulled Peter back against his chest.

  "I just need you to tell me whenever you have trouble with something okay? If you get hurt, whether it be being stabbed or if it's girl trouble," Tony murmured into Peter's hair.

  "I promise Dad."


	15. Home Videos

  After Peter left for school the next morning Tony had decided to sort through some of the dusty old boxes of things that lay about the mansion because after the divorce there was no way that Tony would continue to live here. He needed to sort through things as something to do, to distract himself. 

  The night before they had both slept in Peter's bed, the teen curled into him with his head on Tony's chest. They hadn't done that since Peter was a kid after a nightmare. It was nice and Peter had fallen asleep quickly. Tony had fallen asleep a while after Peter, happily like he hadn't in a while. He was here for his kid now, would be for the rest of his life.

  Thing was, around one in the morning Peter actually woke from a nightmare. It was strange, not the crying out and thrashing type that he used to have but waking suddenly and sitting up straight in bed. It was that sudden movement that had woken Tony.

   _"Hey Pete, you okay?" Tony asked sleepily, rubbing his son's back as he took in the paleness of his cheeks in the moonlight from the window._

_"Yeah Dad, sorry for waking you," Peter muttered._

   _The boy had lain back down then, curled back into Tony's side and closer his eyes. Tony had ran a hand through his son's hair and looked down at him._

_"Don't be sorry. What was your dream about?" Tony asked._

_"You remember when Toomes dropped that building on me?"_

_"Yeah. You dreamed about that?"_

_"Mmm. Except it was Pa who dropped it with his shield. Always is."_

_"Always is? You have this dream often?" Tony asked, deeply concerned that his son would be having such dreams about his other parent._

_Peter didn't answer him but Tony knew that Peter wasn't asleep by the way he was breathing. The teens fingers were clenching and unclenching nervously in the material of Tony's shirt. It was something that he used to do as a little kid when he was really stressed out and it made the billionaire's heart ache to think of it._

_"Peter answer me," Tony said firmly._

_"Yeah... yeah Dad I dream about that a lot," Peter said after a moment._

_"Tell me truthfully Peter... this scar on you stomach, is it the first time that you were stabbed?" Tony asked next._

_"No, I got stabbed in the leg once," Peter muttered into Tony's chest._

_"Where did you hide then hey?" Tony said, running his hand through Peter's hair once more._

_"Ned's that time."_

  Now Tony was making his way to his old office in an attempt to find something to distract him from the fact that his son was obviously more broken than he wanted to let on. Really he thought that this probably wan't the best idea but he really wasn't in an inventive mood. 

  He quickly settled into sorting through boxes with old photos and drawing Peter made as a kid. Some of his old school books, letters that Steve used to write to Tony... he was so old fashioned but Tony had always loved those letters. They were different... more personal. They were pages that Steve had personally touched, ink that Steve had shaped into words. Not like emails.

  Tony was holding the first letter that Steve had ever sent on the first mission that he had gone on after they were married.

_Dear Tony,_

_Everything is going well with this and I should be home soon. I miss you so much and I know that you'll probably tease me later for this_ (he was right, Tony did, a lot at first but then had later told him not to stop)  _but I just wanted to tell you. Wanted you to know that I love you. I can't wait to hold you again, it's lonely sleeping in an empty bed. I love your eyes and your laugh. Your sark brightens up my day and I can't wait to hear it again._

_I promise that I should be home soon and you better be there, I'll definitely need a kiss when I see you._

_all my love,_

_your husband Steve xx_

  Tony didn't realise he was crying until he saw the blotches on the paper. As soon as he realised he folded the paper back up and slotted it in its place. He knew he wouldn't be getting rid of those letters, he wouldn't physically be able to.

  Next he found the box of DVDs, the home videos with marker pen labelling them in either Tony or Steve's hand writing. God it had been years since he had used DVDs, it made him laugh to think that there was a time when he used video tapes. 

  The billionaire sat there cross legged on the floor surrounded with pictures and papers just fiddling with the discs in his hands.

  Eventually he got up and pushed one of them into a player. It was one labelled "park". He waited for it to load and then sat back in the desk chair to watch and there on the screen was a younger him and Steve with a Peter who was probably about four. They had adopted the kid when he was three but Peter had no memories of anything before them.

   _"Peter," Tony on the screen crooned._

   _The toddler laughed and ran over to the billionaire on pudgy, wobbly legs. He fell into his dad's arms as Steve sat besides them filming the whole thing._

_It was sunny and the park had a few other families playing and picnicking there. So nice that everyone was too wrapped up in their perfect day to recognise Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. It was perfect for the two men as well._

_"Dad! Dad! Look!" baby Peter exclaimed happily holding up a flower that he had picked. A daisy._

_"Aw that's so pretty buddy. I think you should put it in Pa's hair," the younger Tony said smiling over at the man behind the camera._

_Steve's deep laugh could be heard as Peter stumbled over to him. The camera shook and got a good look at the grass before younger Tony took it and pointed it at his husband just as Peter put the flower in Steve's hair._

_The blond man grabbed his son and pulled him close, peppering his little face with kisses making the kid giggle. He then looked up at Tony behind the camera and gestured for him to come closer. There was the sound of kissing as the camera was dropped again and all that could be seen was Peter's tiny feet and Steve's folded legs._

  As the video ended Tony realised that he was crying again, harder this time. Sobs were racking his body and he crumpled, leaning over so his face was pretty much pressed into his knees. God this was an absolutely awful idea. It was then that he felt the hand on his back that made him jump.

  Turning, Tony saw Steve standing there. He looked unbelievably sad and his blue eyes were wet even if he wasn't quite crying. The larger man couldn't quite meet Tony's eye but he still had his hand on the billionaire's back.

  "I want that again Tony. You, me and Peter. Happy," he said quietly.

  "Maybe you should have thought about that before," Tony replied, not nastily but sadly. He wanted that so bad too.

  Steve knelt then, slotting himself between Tony's knees and taking both of the dark haired man's hands in his own. Their eyes met and neither had the strength to look away.

  "I am so sorry Tony. For everything. For leaving, for... for cheating. I thought that I loved Bucky, I guess I do, and I thought that he needed me. It's not an excuse I know and I realise now that you and Peter... that I love you and Peter a million times more than him. You and Peter need me here to be a dad and a husband more than he needed me. I am sorry for... for being so uppity and rude and uncaring when I got back. I am... God I love you so much Tony. I am so, so sorry," Steve gushed and Tony let him, watching as Steve fell apart in front of him. By the end of it Steve could barely get the words out through his tears.

  "I want that Steve. But I can't trust you," Tony gritted out as tears ran down his own face.

  "I  _promise_. I promise never ever again," Steve chocked.

  "O... yeah, okay," Tony whispered brokenly.

  "Okay?" Steve asked looking up at him with hope.

  Tony just nodded before he leaned down to kiss him. His husband. It was nothing passionate or desperate just slow and soft and full of love.

  "God I love you," Tony told him as soon as he broke away. His hands were cupping Steve's face and Steve's were cupping his. The other man offered Tony a watery smile as he slowly smoothed the billionaire's cheeks with his thumbs.


	16. Better?

  Peter had been so embarrassed after waking his dad up with his nightmare. He had been embarrassed explaining himself and seeming weak. He had told his dad about the first time he had got stabbed and Tony had just run his hands through his hair. Peter had spent the whole night curled into his dad's side for crying out loud, how much more embarrassing could you get than that. It was something he had only done as a little kid.

  He had to push the embarrassment away when he woke up though, didn't want his dad to see it. He also didn't want his friends to see it. Though he had to admit he was looking forward to seeing MJ again, although it had only been a couple of days it seemed like forever since he'd seen her since they had practically been inseparable when his dads were away.

  However, as he entered the crowded school corridors and shivered with the sudden burst of panic that he quickly suppressed, Peter didn't see MJ or Ned. At least not straight away anyway. When he got punched hard in the shoulder and greeted by a "Morning loser" he turned to see her. The teenager grinned happily at his girlfriend and leaned in to peck her on the cheek.

  "Long time no see stranger," she said, giving him a shove. 

  "Yeah yeah I've been too busy for the likes off you," Peter said trying to look at her snootily but just broke out laughing.

  "Course Parker. You tell yourself that. You have no idea what I am," MJ replied with raised eyebrows, waggling her fingers in his face.

  "Hell I know that. You're weird. Like mysterious and always there at strange moments. Definitely alien," he grinned, pushing her lightly away from him.

  "Hey you guys!" they heard then.

  "Hey Ned," Peter greeted, wrapping his friend in a hug.

  "Hey loser two," MJ nodded.

***

  All in all it had been a good day. Peter had thoroughly enjoyed seeing his friends and just sitting in class and learning like a normal teen. When he got home and entered the living room to see his pa sitting on the sofa with his dad sleeping with his head in his lap he suddenly had to convince himself that this wasn't a dream.

  "Oh hey Peter," Steve greeted when he noticed Pete. He looked so happy as he ran his fingers through Tony's hair.

  "Hey Pa," Peter replied uncertainly, he was still staring and Steve must have picked up on it.

  "Yeah, we should probably talk buddy," Steve said awkwardly, looking down at Tony and shaking him awake.

  "Hmm hey what?" Tony mumbled sleepily. 

  "Peter," Steve told him simply, making Tony look around at their son.

  "Hey Pete," he greeted, getting up from the sofa and coming over to wrap an arm around Peter's shoulders.

  "So me and Dad have decided... Your dad has let me up..." Steve stuttered trying to put his words together.

  "I wanted to try again. Nostalgic bullshit and all," Tony said for him.

  "Language Tony," Steve chastised.

  "Dear me Dad. Language," Peter snickered, earning him a playful slap around the back of the head.

  The rest of the night Peter watched his parents as the interacted. It was closer to their old norm but it still seemed to be slightly forced. He wondered what had brought it on, what had changed their minds on the divorce. Just yesterday they had been yelling, fighting and at each others' throats. It confused him, it felt wrong. They weren't being normal and the way that Tony was looking at Steve was still filled with distrust and hurt while Steve's were so hopeful. He was following Peter's dad around like a lost puppy. They were always touching or close but neither seemed to be too comfortable with it.

  It made Peter itch for a drink. For some weed maybe. Probably a good job that there was a party that MJ could get them into tonight. He had been thinking of turning it down but now...

  "I'm just going to go patrolling and then I think I'm going to stay over at MJ's so I'll see you tomorrow," Peter told his dads.

  "Sure thing kiddo," Tony smiled.

  They both came over to kiss him goodbye, a little peck on the cheek and pat on the back. It made his skin crawl.

***

  Of course he didn't actually go patrolling and he left his suit at home. Hopefully his dads didn't notice but he didn't want to be tracked to the party so he couldn't risk bringing it with him.

  He met MJ there and they went in. He gave he a brief run down of his new home situation and she grimaced at him in her version of sympathy. In the end she helped him get drunk and the danced among the sweaty teen bodies and slumped on the lawn of the big house the party was at. The alcohol eventually wore off to a dull buzz so MJ pulled him up off of the grass and back into the house.

  "We've only done weed together right," she said as more a statement than a question.

  "Yeah. Wait what do you have in mind?" Peter asked.

  "How about something stronger?" she smiled pulling out a little bag filled with dried mushrooms.

  He looked at it for a moment uncertainly for a moment before he decided why not. You only get to live once right? His dad would be so mad his pa would be livid but they didn't have to find out. It was just a good job he'd told them he was going to be staying with MJ tonight.

  As soon as they'd taken it he felt great, this was a great idea.  When MJ pulled him into an upstairs bedroom, his lips roaming all over and having sex in the bed like typical teens would it was the best thing. The last thing that was on his mind was his parents or his fears, his responsibilities. 

  "God we have to do this again," Peter gasped as he rolled off of MJ, both panting and satisfied. 

  "Hell yeah," MJ replied with a wolfish grin that once upon a time would have terrified him but now that he knew her better it just turned him on.

  "You know I think I love you," Peter confessed as he looked at her.

  "I think I love you too loser," she smiled.

  Peter smiled back and leaned over to kiss her, deep and slow before wrapping his arms around her, her hands coming up to run through his hair. As they broke away he looked down and smoothed a hand over her cheek, he really was smitten.

  "Hey lovebirds are you done with this room!" came a drunken yell through the door followed by the band of fists on wood.

  "Yeah give us a second," Peter laughed, MJ joining in his laughter as they sloppily pulled on their clothes and stumbled through the door past the newt couple who were on each other before the door even closed behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to note that I do not condone drugs at all. I think that they are very awful things and I am only using them in this story to show how much Peter is struggling.


	17. Morning After

  Peter woke next to MJ on the floor of the house the party had been hosted at. There were passed out teens all around them so it was obvious that the parents of whichever teen owned the house were not back. Yawning, he looked down at where MJ was curled into his side, wavy hair dishevelled and clothes rumpled. It was an obvious reminder of what had happened last night. As was the state of his head...

  The teen squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temple as his head pounded. Great, he had to go home to get ready for school with a massive hangover. He just hoped that his parents wouldn't be there loving up to each other in the most awkward way possible. God Tony would be able to tell he was hungover the moment he looked at him, he was the king of hangovers.

  If he maybe climbed in and out of his window... Just grab his bag and scarper. Yeah that was the best idea. That way he could avoid his parents completely and when he did have to face them his head wouldn't feel like it was splitting in two.

  "MJ," he hissed then, shoving at her to wake her up.

  "Oh God what do you want loser?" she grumbled, holding her head in a way that showed Peter that she was in the same state as him.

 "Need to get going to get to school," Peter told her as she sat up next te him, looking at him through bleary eyes.

  "Oh God no. I... mm no," MJ moaned, pressing her face into Peter's chest.

  "Who the hell throws a party mid week anyway?" Peter realised, rubbing his temple with one hand and running his fingers through his girlfriend's hair with the other. 

  "Who the hell _goes_  to parties mid week," MJ returned, face still pressed against him.

  "Masochistic bastards," Peter snorted before he untangled himself from the girl and getting up," come on we really do need to go."

***

  Peter found that it was a lot harder swing through the city than usual with a hangover. Every movement sent a new shock of pain through his skull and by the time be was crawling up the wall to his widow he could barely keep his eyes open because of it. And then he was tumbling in through the window, landing on the floor with a thump and a pained groan.

  He quickly picked himself up but had to bend down and clutch his head as a wave of nausea washed over him. Thank God he had some Advil in the bathroom. Then he looked up and he saw not just his dad but his pa both sat on his bed watching him, both looking rather disapproving. 

  "You didn't have sex on my bed did you?" Peter blurted, the very first thing that came to his addled mind.

  The horrified look on his pa's face and the downright outraged look on his dad's told him that was definitely not the right thing to say. And the way Tony was looking at his son... yeah he definitely knew Peter's predicament. At least they didn't have sex on his bed.

  "So you had fun last night then," Tony stated with a sour look.

  "Um yeah... I need to go to school," Peter said, he knew his face was red and he was shuffling awkwardly. 

  "Oh no, you know what I think you can miss a day of school Peter Stark-Rogers, you do realise you've missed half the day already," Tony said and boy did Peter know he was in trouble. Legally his name was Stark-Rogers but he was born Parker and that was the name he used in places like school to steer away from the publicity of his two famous dads. When he was called Stark-Rogers he knew he was in deep shit.

  "You drink much last night Peter?" Steve asked, he looked disappointed.

  It made Peter feel sad to see that look on his pa's face. It wasn't because he had disappointed the man but because he genuinely didn't care that he had. Once upon a time he would have but not now. It seemed despite his best efforts he really couldn't forgive Steve for what he had done and that was what made him sad.

  "I.. yeah," Peter confessed.

  "Weed? You said you were doing that," Tony questioned.

  "Wait what? You're... Peter! Drugs!" Steve exclaimed horrified. Peter couldn't help but think that if Steve didn't know that then they really weren't doing all that well in their new-old relationship. Communication and all that.

  "Yes Steve, just weed's not that bad," Tony snapped distractedly still looking at Peter.

  "Tony! Weed is a drug. Drugs are drugs!" Steve yelled, grabbing Tony and forcing him to face him.

  "Shut up Steve! Just lets deal with this first please!" Tony shouted, gritting his teeth and pulling his arm away.

  Steve stood up and took a step away from the bed, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Peter watched the hands and couldn't help but remember the feel of those fists connecting with his flesh and had to repress a shudder.

  "You don't do any other drugs do you Pete," Tony said, he tried to make it seem like he was being supportive but the words came out with a harsh edge and it didn't quite work.

  "No Dad. I told you already," Peter lied but his dad seemed to take it, looking over at Steve with that "I told you so" look.

  "And why do you do weed Peter?" Steve asked with a scary calm, ignoring his husband.

  "It makes me feel good?" Peter said but it came out like a question. He really didn't want to do this right now with the way his head was and the way his parents were.

  "Makes you feel good? Really Peter?" Steve said this with an angry nostril flare.

  "Have you ever done it?" Peter asked him.

  "No!" Steve shouted, indignant.

  "Well there you go then. Can't really question it can you," Peter snapped, he was getting really irritable now. He heard and saw Tony snort, genuinely finding Peter's retort funny.

  "Drugs aren't good Peter. They damage you," Steve snapped looking rather put out.

  "And why do you care," Peter practically growled.

  "I'm sorry what did you just say young man?" Steve asked in that quiet, dangerous parent voice.

  "I said why do you care," Peter replied slowly.

  "Because I am your father!" Steve snapped.

  "Start acting like it then!" Peter yelled back.

  "What on earth do you think I'm doing Peter!"

  "Oh oh I see. Yes I'm sorry. You are here to make sure I don't have a drug problem. What a great dad. That makes up for you pissing off and abandoning us to go and fuck around with a man that is not you husband. Nice hey! We don't get a word for months, you disappear, you break Dad's heart! You know as he fell to pieces after his piece of crap husband walked out he tried to hold it together and make sure that I was okay. He held me when I cried that I missed you, when I cried because I was so  _angry_! He helped me with my homework, he took me down to his lab so we could work on projects together.  _He_  was a dad.  _He_  was a father. Not you. Never you so I am so sorry if you're doing one thing now but too little too late  _Steve_!" Peter yelled as Steve just stood there, he spat out Steve's name like a curse before he pushed past the man and ran down the hall. He ran to the elevator and got F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take him down to his dad's lab. He would love to just get stuck into a project right now.

  "Hey Peter are you okay?" he heard his dad ask behind him as he looked down at the notes for his latest plan.

  "Yeah Dad. I'm sorry I drank last night," Peter said quietly without turning around.

  Tony placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and pulled him around to face him and then pulled him into a hug. Tony stroked his hair and the comfort and the gentle touches finally brought down the walls and Peter was crying. Again. It seemed to be all that he was doing these days.

  "Are you sorry for what you said to your pa?" Tony asked, the way he said it made Peter think that he was curious and not chastising him for his outburst.

  "No, I'm not sorry. I meant every word," Peter confessed, mumbling the words into his dad's shoulder, close enough to the man's ear that he heard every one.


	18. Strange Thing About Love

  Peter kept out of Steve's way after that. Avoided him like a plague. It wasn't because he felt guilty, because he really didn't regret his words to his pa, the man needed to hear them. Good old Captain America had come strolling back in and Tony had taken him back even after breaking his heart. Peter still didn't understand why Tony had forgiven him because Peter had been there when Steve left and saw just how much pain his dad had been in. Maybe it was just love, stupid and suicidal love.

  Whatever it was Peter couldn't stand to see it and he found himself reverting back to spending most of his time with MJ. The two would either sleep over at hers or at Ned's. When they were at Ned's the three would often just take over the lounge and curl up in front of Netflix, falling asleep in one big pile. When he was over with MJ they would most likely be curled up in her bed reading or having sex.

  As long as Peter checked in at home regularly and answered his texts and calls, his parents seemed okay with his absence. Not happy but okay. Every time that he would come home his dad would hug him and ask when he was back for good, Peter would always reply that he didn't know and Tony would take that as no. He hated the sad look on his dad's face but when he had tried to stay over he just couldn't take his parents the way they were so the teen went off with MJ again.

  The two of them often went to parties and Peter found himself experimenting more and more with different drugs. He always stayed away from the stuff like heroin and made sure not to get addicted to anything. The high, any high, was good. It kept him away from his overly complicated life and made him feel good and carefree. MJ was always with him and that made it even better, they would often go off to make out or have sex, sometimes just lying in random spots and having the weird conversations that only high people had.

  It was one time when they were in bed that Peter suddenly had his doubts. He was a mess, really there was no way to excuse that. He often woke in the night from a nightmare that woke his girlfriend with him, he still struggled in the corridors with the press of people and he was just generally weak. Peter was also always there and so he couldn't help but wonder if MJ was alright with that. 

  "Penny for your thoughts," MJ said sleepily, tapping his temple with one finger.

  "Are you okay with me being around so much?" Peter asked her softly, running his fingers through her wavy hair and deliberately not looking at her.

  "Hey you know me Peter. I'm a girl who knows her mind. If I wanted you gone I would have physically kicked your sexy little butt out of the door," MJ smirked, looking up and making their eyes meet.

  "Thanks MJ that means a lot you know. That you want me around that it," Peter said haltingly.

  "Shut up you sappy loser and kiss me," she said pulling him down with a hand curled around the back of his neck.

  Peter smiled into the kiss, letting it get deeper and exploring his girlfriend's mouth with his tongue. It seemed weird to think that there was a time when he thought that he had to be gay because his dads were. No chance. He was definitely too attracted to MJ to be gay.

  "You know, sometimes I think I may actually love you," Peter smiled down at her from where he lent up on his elbow as soon as they broke the kiss.

  "Yeah? Well I think I might be the same. Also I did mention that I love your ass. You're such a loser Peter Parker but you're my loser so you have that going for you. Yeah I love you too," MJ smiled, caressing his cheek.

***

  Next time that Peter went home he didn't announce himself, he climbed in through his window because why not and landed quietly in his room. He had been thinking about MJ and what he had said to her, what she had said back. Been thinking about how he felt and what that meant. He had been so quick to judge his dad because of how quickly he had forgiven Steve but now he thought that he might understand just a little. Didn't mean he forgave his pa but he did love him.

  He just felt like such a coward. It had been weeks now and he had been hiding away from home. He hadn't even been going on patrol. That part had probably been the worst of what he had been doing, at least in his own mind. Peter hadn't been hiding but merely enjoying his time with his friends too much.

  Now though he came in through the house silently until he came to the living room where his parents were sat. The TV was on and they were sat together, Steve's arm around Tony. Peter stood there in the doorway watching them for a moment and wondered if that could be him and MJ however many years down the line. The two of them sat there after everything that had happened because Tony loved Steve despite what he had done and Steve loved Tony despite how his actions would say otherwise.

  "Peter?" Steve asked as he spotted him, some soldier sense telling him when he was being watched or something like that. Tony turned to him then as well and smiled brightly.

  "Hey Pa. Mind if I join?" he asked.

  "Sure Pete," Steve smiled wider.

  Peter went around and sat beside beside his pa, as close as he used to before everything. He felt Steve watching him so he glanced up with a small smile. It was that that seemed to encourage Steve to wrap his free arm around his son. The teen relaxed against his pa's side and glanced over to see his dad smiling fondly and thankfully over at him from Steve's other side.

  That was the strange thing about love; how people can forgive their loved one for almost anything.


	19. Was He Right?

_That makes up for you pissing off and abandoning us to go and fuck around with a man that is not you husband._

_We don't get a word for months, you disappear, you break Dad's heart! You know as he fell to pieces after his piece of crap husband walked out he tried to hold it together and make sure that I was okay. He held me when I cried that I missed you, when I cried because I was so angry! He helped me with my homework, he took me down to his lab so we could work on projects together. He was a dad. He was a father. Not you. Never you._

  The words played over and over in Tony's head for days. Peter had blurted out so many things, some of which Tony realised and some that he didn't. He hadn't realised that Peter had so easily seen through his mask after Steve left. The words brought out so many emotions and he didn't know how to process them. He didn't know whether to be angry at Peter for being so rude to his pa or be glad that Steve had finally got to hear all that he had done wrong from someone who was not his husband. Was he guilty over not hiding his pain from Peter or was he proud that his son was so aware? Happy over the fact that Peter acknowledged and appreciated all that Tony did for him or miserable that it was compared to Steve's absence?

  He had no idea. And then there was Peter's confession as the boy was in his arms afterwards;  _I'm not sorry. I meant every word_. Again, he wasn't sure about how he felt about that. 

  All in all, it meant that Tony had a lot of thinking to do. Steve had been shaken considerably by Peter's words and the teen's sudden and constant absence from the house didn't help. Often Tony would hold Steve as he cried but found that he didn't really feel sorry for the man. He had brought it on himself after all. He had left, he had cheated and broke Tony's heart. He had abandoned their son and then came back as if all was fine.

  Tony wondered if he was right in forgiving Steve so quickly. The billionaire so desperately wanted to have his family back together again but Peter had seemed so uncomfortable with Tony's forgiveness. He hadn't been blind to the looks and the stiff set of his son's shoulders that day that he had come home to find his parents sitting together on the sofa. Peter didn't understand and he was so bright that if he didn't understand then maybe there really was something amiss in how he had let his husband back in.

  It didn't change how he felt about the blond man. He was still just as beautiful to Tony as he was all those years ago when they met. Tony still loved him completely despite everything that had happened and that was a testament to just how strong that love was. The man clung, almost pathetically, to the comfort that he felt when Steve wrapped his arms around Tony as they slept in their bed. When the taller man would run a gentle hand up and down his spin in greeting or give him a soft peck on the lips or when they had sex after so long without. It all felt like things would go back to the way they were before and Tony found him needing to cling to that hope like air.

  Except Peter was never there...

  Whenever the boy did turn up he was only there for as long as he needed. The teen would pretend that Steve didn't exist even though he would greet and say hello to Tony. It hurt to see both the pain in Steve's eyes and the anger in Peter's. He desperately wanted Peter home but he didn't feel like he had the right to push after how long they had left Peter on his own.

   _Because I am your father!_

_Start acting like it then!_

  Those were the words that echoed loudest that night when Peter turned up and acted like they were a family. He had curled into Steve's side and he had felt his husband's sudden intake of breath, how he had relaxed into the boy, he hadn't been able to stop smiling. Tony hadn't been able to stop the relieved and thankful smile that he had given Peter. 

  His heart had swelled as he sat there watching the movie with his husband and son just like they used to. When Peter had gone to bed- in his own bed, in his own room in their house- Steve had looked to Tony with such hope in his eyes that Tony couldn't resist kissing him as if it was all going to be okay.

  "Tony..." the other whispered, voice clogged with emotion.

  "I know love," Tony smiled against Steve's lips.

  "He might forgive me yet Tony. We can go back to the way things were, be a family," Steve said, every word etched against Tony's lips.

  "No Steve," Tony says pulling back, he smiled sadly as the realisation hit him," sure we can be a family again but things will never be the same again. You need to except that Peter will probably never trust you again. He may forgive you, we may go on like a family, smile and laugh, have nights like this just... I know Peter. You know him too and you know I'm right. He won't trust you Steve, never again after what you did. He won't tell you his secrets and you may grow closer but you'll never be as close as before. Hell he won't ever be as close with me after how long I was away. Things are... they're going to change."

  "Yeah... yeah Tony you're right. I'm so so sorry," Steve said and his voice sounded broken, on the verge of tears.

  "Yeah I know, you just need to tell him," Tony replied, he got up and kissed his husband on the top of the head. He went off to get ready for bed knowing that Steve would need some thinking time but would join him soon enough.

  He couldn't believe that he was being the rational adult in their relationship right now. He had given Steve advice on emotions and forgiveness and was now working out what he had to do with Peter. The argument- the big one that was THE argument- had started when Peter came back hungover after a night of drinks drugs and probably- most definitely- sex. Tony had condoned Peter's actions then but maybe he was wrong. He had felt guilt over the absence and he was letting Peter get away with too much. 

  His own younger years had been fraught with drugs and alcohol, mad and meaningless sex and rarely a sober moment. He had't been a nice or respectable person back then and he really didn't want that for Peter. Peter was too good and pure- how that happened when he was Tony's son he would never know- and he needed the boy to stay that way. His heart was good and set in the right place. Tony needed to make sure that it stayed that way and to do that he had to be a proper dad. One that gave a damn and set down rules. 

  Peter was asleep in his room now, a good sign. Tomorrow he would start. Steve was right, drugs were drugs. Peter needed to stop it all. No more getting drunk either. God knows what that did to Pete's Spider-sense anyway.

  Tomorrow would be the beginning of mission Clean Up Peter and be a Responsible Dad.


	20. Bucky Barnes

  Steve had thought that it was going so well. Had fooled himself really, had forgotten how strong willed and clever his son was. As soon as Tony had forgiven him... before that Peter had been okay with him too, had hugged him and just looked a little sad. Since Tony had let Steve back in Peter seemed to have drawn away further and it hurt like hell. It had hurt like hell that Peter wouldn't even consider shared custody when they were getting divorced.

  When they were getting divorced... before Tony forgave him.

  Sighing, Steve went and showered away the sweat from his workout. As the water washed over him so did his guilt.  _Why do you care_. That was what his son had said to him when he had confronted him about the drugs. Then he had gone on to tell Steve all the ways that he had messed up, all the ways that he had been trying so hard to forget. That was when he had gone and done something that he wasn't proud of... when Peter had stormed off and Tony had followed him.

  Steve had gone and rung Bucky.

  He had rung the man that he had left his husband for in order to get some comfort. The man was in Wakanda where Steve had left him before he had returned to America. As far as Steve knew, his best friend and secret lover from his childhood had been dead when he had married Tony. Thing was he loved Tony but he had loved Bucky first, Bucky had loved him before the serum, before he was Captain America.  He had come back to America because Peter was here as well as his husband. Now though he knew that just coming back hadn't been enough.

  Bucky had been a great comfort, his voice had been so welcome and Steve had told him how much he missed him and loved him. The other had returned the comment and Steve had made his decision; he was going to go back to him. He was obviously making Peter miserable and was obviously putting strain on Tony, he had broken something and it just wasn't fixable. 

  As he made his way down to the kitchen to continue his morning ritual and so he sat down with his coffee and paper, trying not to let the guilt consume him and figure out how exactly he was going to tell his husband and son he was leaving again. He hadn't been there all too long before Peter came down fully dressed but still sleep ruffled, looking for toast. Steve had heard his son wake from a nightmare that night, heard the yell of fear before there was silence again. Tony had just slept on and Steve hadn't known what to do so he had just left it. He wondered if the nightmare was about him?

  Peter didn't acknowledge him more than a small smile and Steve thought that was definitely an improvement on the way he had pretended that Steve didn't exist as he had the last few weeks. _You need to except that Peter will probably never trust you again_  Tony's words echoed in his head as he looked at the teen. Last night he had thought that maybe, after Peter had curled into him, that he should stay. Then Tony had reminded him of the truth and why he wanted to just get out in the first place.

  Really they both needed to except that Steve is a soldier not a family man, always has been and always will be.

  "Morning Peter, morning Steve," Tony greeted as he entered.

  "Morning Dad," Peter smiled back, returning the hug as Tony wrapped the teen up in a brief hug.

  "Hey will you sit down. I need to talk to you," Tony said to the boy, gesturing at the table.

  Peter took the seat as he was told, he looked curious and nervous as he looked up at Tony. Steve was also curious as to what Tony was going to say, he hadn't spoken to Steve. Just another little change from how they used to be; they used to confer on everything.

  "Drugs, drinking, never being home," Tony said directly as he sat opposite Peter.

  "Right..." Peter said slowly looking cornered.

  "It stops Peter and I mean it. I know I said weed was okay before and I know I understood the absences but it stops. I've been letting you get away with it because I felt guilty about being away so long, that you didn't have a dad for so long. Now I'm here and I'm not really acting like you father. You have to be home so we can be a family. You can't do drugs because like Steve said, they're bad for you. So's the drinking. I was a druggie, alcoholic when I was your age and I was an asshole. I made so many terrible decisions and did so many terrible things, I know you're not as bad as I was but if you continue you will get there. So it stops, do you understand?" Tony ranted. 

  Steve blinked, surprised. Then guilty. Home so we can be a family...

  "Y-yeah Dad. I'm sorry," Peter was red and playing with his hands beneath the table.

  "You're a bright kid, brighter than me. I don't get why you started in the first place," Tony said.

  "The thrill I guess, to get out of my head," Peter relied, hands now on top of the table but still constantly moving.

  "Yeah, thought so. Keep the thrill to Spider-man from now on though. Just not to much thrill to the point where you get stabbed again," Tony smiled.

  Peter looked up then and smiled back with a small chuckle. The way the two looked at each other... Peter trusted and loved Tony, more than he ever would Steve. It hurt but it was his fault, he loved Bucky and the life they lead more than his family. Since being on the move with the man as they ran from prosecution, Steve had gotten a bit of a taste for the freedom of travel. Here like this he almost felt trapped.

  "Steve!" Tony shouted.

 "What? Yes?" Steve started.

  "Asked if you agreed. Where you listening at all?" Tony rolled his eyes.

  "Yes, and yes I agree," Steve said quickly.

  "There's something wrong, something on your mind," Peter accused, perceptive as ever.

  Steve looked at him, taking him in. He was a handsome lad, strong and smart and independent. Perfect really apart from the substances he liked to take. He would miss him when he left, hoped that he would see him on the news or maybe come and watch him occasionally. The soldier wouldn't be able to interact with him again though, not after this.

  "I'm leaving again. I'm going back to be with Bucky."


	21. Dealing With It

 "I'm leaving again. I'm going back to be with Bucky."

  There was silence for a long moment as the two took in the words. Peter couldn't believe what had just come out of his pa's mouth... on second thoughts that was a lie, he did. He had done it before and things had been tough. Of course he was going to leave them again for that man.

  "Good," Peter growled suddenly as his dad still stared broken hearted at his husband, "go off to fuck you boyfriend and leave us again!"

  "Language Peter!" Steve snapped.

  "Language?! Did you just tell me to watch my language?! Go to hell _Steve_!Fuck you!" Peter yelled, standing up and slamming his hands down on the table as Tony still sat there shocked and un-moving.

  "Peter Stark-Rogers! Language!" Steve pressed, standing also and using his superior height and size as a way to gain respect. Or so it seemed. It didn't work.

  " _Stark_. Peter Stark. Not Stark-Rogers. I am  _nothing_  to do with you. Nothing. I can swear and curse at you as much as I want and you can't say a word because you are  _nothing_. I hate you and when you leave I hope that I never see you again," Peter hissed. His chest ached and he so wanted to cry, it meant that he was beyond yelling.

  For a moment Steve just stood there staring down at him and Peter stared right back. There was definitely guilt in the blond man's eyes so that was something. Didn't stop him from turning away and leaving the room. Neither Tony nor Peter moved for several long minute until Steve came back through with a duffel bag and his phone pressed to his ear. The man cast them one last look before he was gone.

  After a long moment, Peter looked over at his dad. The man was staring down at the wood top of the table with unseeing eyes, hands clasped together so tight that his knuckles were white. Swallowing, Peter moved around the table and put a hand on his dad's shoulder. Tony looked up at him and smiled before standing and pulling him into a hug. It would have been comforting if he couldn't feel his dad's trembling against his back.

  "You know I meant it about the drugs. Just cause Steve's the world's biggest asshole doesn't mean I'm gonna go back to being a non-dad again," Tony warned as he pulled back.

  "Non-dad?" Peter asked with an uncharacteristic smirk, he needed to lighten the mood somehow.

  "Shut up you little punk," Tony flicked his ear with a smile before his face crumpled again and he had to turn away from his son.

  "Dad, this time we can do it differently. I promise to stop, I promise to listen to you and stay here," Peter stated shakily as he walked around to the front of his father again.

  Tony turned his face away from Peter, no doubt to hide the heart break there, but Peter just pressed his face into the man's chest over the scar where the arc reactor used to be before wrapping his arms around him. Tony responded, wrapping Peter up again and pressing a kiss to his messy bed head. A sob wracked his father's body and Peter found himself crying too. He hadn't expected that, he had thought that his pa had been trying. Was it his fault?

  Peter had been so hostile recently. Maybe that was why Steve had decided to leave. Oh God his dad's heartbreak was his fault.

  "I'm so sorry Dad. I drove him away I'm so so sorry," Peter mumbled into Tony's chest, knowing that the genius would hear him anyway.

  For a moment Tony didn't say anything but just continued to stand there and hold the teen, stroking a soothing hand over his head. 

  "Not your fault buddy. Even if Steve left because he didn't like the way you were, and that's if, it's still not your fault. That piece of shit is meant to be your father. Father's don't up and walk out just because they have a fight with their sons," Tony told him after that moment, not pulling away. His voice sounded hoarse with emotion and yet still surprisingly steady.

  "Hey Dad," Peter said pulling away slightly, "can I have the day off of school?"

  Tony burst out laughing then at the cheeky glint in his son's eye. He knew that Peter said it like that to make him laugh and it worked. The man roughly ruffled the curly head of the teen until Peter pushed him away with his own laugh.

  "I take that as a yes?" Peter grinned.

  Once again Tony sobered up as he took in his boy. How could Steve ever want to leave anything so precious. Here he was, sixteen years of age, stood in their kitchen after his parent left for the second time trying to heal the other parent's pain. He was golden, so special and good.

  "I love you Peter. I'm so, so proud of you," Tony confessed.

  Peter felt his chest tighten at those words. What did he need Steve for when he had Tony? Tony had always been there and been his dad, even when Peter was younger Tony seemed to enjoy playing with him and spending time with him more. There was a reason why Peter had picked up more of his dad's habits and interests than his pa's. The fact that his dad was proud of him...

  This time the sob came from Peter. He knew it hurt now and it would get better later, that they would be fine. Didn't stop it from hurting now though. He sunk to the floor, breath rattling out of his chest as he fought not to cry. Tony came and sat next to him, slinging an arm over Peter's shoulder.

  "I love you too Dad," Peter choked as he leaned into the welcome warmth, "You know I think it might be a good thing that he's gone. Everything has just been to messed up since... since he left before. Now you can file that divorce and get on. Hell I'm sure there's a lot more buff blonds out there who would rather die than cheat on Tony Stark."

  "You know you are a cheeky sod Peter Stark," Tony laughed, "buff blonds... nah this time I think I'll go for a brunette."

  That had them both laughing. The two just sat there and laughed before they got up and got on with their day. They spent it down in the lab, inventing and fiddling and calculating. They chatted and laughed even though they were both hurting but they had to. They were just dealing with it because they had to.  


	22. Epilogue

   It had been just over a year since Steve had walked out for the last time when Peter's dad met the man that he would fall in love with. Someone that would stand by his side for the rest of his life. A brunette just like Tony had joked about all that time ago.

  By that point Tony had divorced Steve although through the whole process they saw nothing of Steve more than his signature. In fact they hadn't seen or heard of the super soldier since that day, a fact that Peter couldn't help but be grateful for. When he had first left Tony had been broken hearted once more, not as badly as before but he had still taken the abandonment hard. He had let his husband back in and Steve had left again.

  They had been happier though, as Tony promised he had been around and had been a dad. As Peter had promised he stayed home more often than not and stopped the drugs. MJ had accepted that easily and while they did still go out to parties together he drank only enough to get him buzzed. He had continued with Spider-man and talked to his dad about it, invented in the lab with him and continued to get high grades.

  MJ and Tony met a week after Steve left and they hit it off straight away. Something to do with the sarcasm thing they both had. Peter was practically drowning in it whenever his father and girlfriend came together. He loved it though, the two people he loved the most. MJ and him were going strong, MJ helping him once more through Steve walking out. 

  The brunette though... Peter had been praying for someone to come along for his dad. Then he had. At first they had started out with Steven Strange being annoyed by Tony as the billionaire made continual comments on their facial hair. Then their was friendship and his dad laughing more than he had in a long time. Every time that Peter saw them together he just hoped that they could be more, that Steven could mend his dad's heart. MJ "shipped" it too, as she put it.

  It was about three months after they had met that Peter came home to find the two men on the sofa. Or rather Steven on the sofa with Tony in his lap as the two kissed. Very luckily the two were still fully clothed so when Peter entered he could just smile without any disgust or mental scarring.

   As soon as Tony realised he was there he broke away and pulled back. He looked rather embarrassed. Steven on the other hand looked as cool as ever except for the ruffled hair that was normally perfect. Peter's smile was still there but he raised his hands in surrender as he made his way through the room.

  "About time," he said loud enough for them to hear as he got the other side of the room. Behind him he could hear his dad snort and couldn't help but smile more.

  It was about three years after that when Peter was twenty and lived with MJ in their own house with MJ as an environmental journalist and Peter as a biochemist that his dad and Steven married. It was a beautiful day, they held it well outside New York in the country surrounded by green. Steven's magic had been very useful in transporting them to the location in a split second and Peter had to admit that he still got a thrill from going through the portals.

  His dad and step-dad-to-be looked so handsome and so happy. MJ as well in a red patterned dress had looked stunning. Tony had greeted Peter with a warm hug and MJ with a kiss on the cheek. MJ had smirked at Tony and made a quip about the fact that the only way that people would be able to tell Tony and Steve apart with because Tony was short. That had earnt her a chuckle and the bird.

  The ceremony itself was beautiful and Peter was so happy, it was small and personal. Perfect really. He trusted Steven, other than the name the man was nothing like Steve. Peter trusted that he would stand by his dad.

  Turns out he was right. After everything Steven and Tony were married until Tony died, old and happy. Peter and MJ had married a couple of years after Tony and Steve and had two sons and a daughter. Tony had loved being a grandfather as had Steven. They had been a proper and tight knit family just like they had always wanted. Steve never really emerged again, off somewhere away from media attention with Bucky no doubt. Everything that happened was for the best, everyone happy in the end.


End file.
